Christmas Mayhem
by masscoffee
Summary: Finished! So enjoy my take on the future final episode of the GG. Many things have changed, so be afraid, be very afraid. Get some popcorn and coffee and don’t forget to widen your horizon.
1. Christmas is in the air

Title: Christmas Mayhem  
  
Author: MassCoffee  
  
Feedback: My first. I need criticism.  
  
Summary: My take on the future final episode of the GG. Many things have changed, so be afraid, be very afraid. Get some popcorn and coffee and don't forget to widen your horizon.  
  
Rating: PG-13. At least it will be.  
  
Pairing: L/L and R/J  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything! Do you hear me!  
  
Spoilers: There shouldn't be any  
  
The inn was very quiet this morning. So quiet that Michel was taking the day off. Lorelai's blue eyes idly looked up from the paperwork on the counter to see a strange man entering the lobby. He was dressed in a black suit, white shirt and black tie. His dark hair was smoothed away from his perfect face. At first she didn't recognize him. Then Lorelai saw the unmistakable expression on his face.  
  
"I'm sorry, you'll have to take those itchy fingers someplace else mister. We have no gnomes, but you could go outside and steal a duck? Would that suffice?"  
  
Jess's eyes lit up as Lorelai approached him. She had watched him grow into a toweringly tall man. It was part of the reason why he was so successful in business. The other part had to be the incredibly attractive smile he gave her as she hugged him tightly. Jess returned the hug and looked at her blue eyes. He wondered, not for the first time, how Rory's eyes seemed just that little bit brighter.  
  
"Hey you! Why haven't you visited sooner? Don't give me that crap about small towns getting on your nerves because I know you have a thing for Stars Hollow."  
  
"Of course I do!"  
  
"Of course you do! I live in it!"  
  
Jess grinned and looked around him. "So tell me more about these ducks?"  
  
"Har har har. You must be losing brain cells. Your comments get worse every time. Come to the kitchen, Ryan should have some coffee made."  
  
Jess allowed Lorelai to lead him, her hand clasped tightly in his.  
  
"Lorelai, I have decided to change the menu for lunch. I don't care what you say! Sookie is wrong about the lemon!" Ryan threw the words at her as she and Jess entered the kitchen.  
  
"It's a miracle that you two manage to share the kitchen." Lorelai gestures for Jess to sit. She goes and pours out some coffee. It reminds her of the time.but its best not to recall.  
  
"How are you Jess? Still working at that place in NY? I told you there's nothing good out there!" Ryan interrupts Lorelai's thoughts.  
  
"Nope. Changed careers about six months ago."  
  
Lorelai smiled and shook her head. "You know there's a rule Jess. You can only change your career twice in one lifetime."  
  
"Well fancy that!"  
  
"Well fancy this mister! No chick is gonna wanna date you if you keep jumping from place to place. I don't care how rich or successful you are! They'll read into it and say 'that Jess boy cannot settle, hence he cannot commit'. They'll be gone so fast." Lorelei trailed off when she realized she hit a sore spot. It was true. Jess hadn't been able to have long-term relationships. And Lorelai knew why.  
  
"So what are you doing now? Starting your own car company? Starting a porn magazine? Ooooh! I know, you're gonna give away all your riches to some charity for adults who cannot read!" Lorelai changed the subject.  
  
"Nothing so exciting."  
  
"I knew it! You're such a scrooge."  
  
"I'm just getting into the Christmas spirit!"  
  
Lorelai keenly looked out of the window. She could feel it. The snow would be coming soon. She could smell it in the cold air. She felt excited to think that Rory would soon be home for Christmas. She turned around to see Jess regarding her with a small smile on his face. His eyes held that old twinkle that she knew so well.  
  
"Wipe that smile off that dial! You looked like a certain Uncle for a moment."  
  
Both Ryan and Jess smirked.  
  
"Jess looking like diner guy? I don't think so!"  
  
"Shut up Ryan! You!" She looked him up and down critically. "Are not one to judge such things!"  
  
"I remember there was one time when you couldn't keep your hands of this no looker." Ryan proudly announced. Lorelai grimaced. It was his skills with the food that had drawn her too him. It had to have been. And his coffee. It was almost as good as Luke's. Al-most.  
  
"I remember. Uncle Luke made you his enemy number one when he found out a certain woman liked your coffee." Jess was talking to Ryan, but he stared at Lorelai with that mocking look upon his handsome face.  
  
"Okay enough from both of you! May I remind you Ryan that you are now happily married to Karen? I will tell her numerous evil things if you do not cease to embarrass me."  
  
"I'll be good! I'm just saying-"  
  
"Well unsay it and go back to work before I bring Sookie back full time."  
  
"Ha! I'd like to see that! She's already feeding that baby boy of hers full time!"  
  
"Jackson could help!"  
  
"Jackson doesn't lactate!"  
  
"OUT of my kitchen!" Lorelai turns to Jess as Ryan leaves. "I can't believe I actually liked that guy!"  
  
"I think Taylor does. Luke actually forgot to argue with him for a while there!"  
  
"Jess, I know what you're doing."  
  
"I just want to know. Are you incredibly blind or incredibly stupid?"  
  
"There is a point where a friendship lasts for so long that it would be insane to change it to anything else. Luke and I have well and truly reached and passed that point a long time ago."  
  
"You haven't changed a bit." Jess hugged Lorelai a second time. But you have, Lorelai wanted to say as she buried her face in Jess's shoulder. They stepped back.  
  
"So when's Rory coming?"  
  
"It's just killing you isn't it? All those frat boys at her college! You wouldn't believe the stories she's told me!"  
  
"Lorelai!"  
  
"Just teasing! But seriously, um Jess, there is a guy."  
  
Lorelai could have sworn Jess's eyes widened a few inches.  
  
"She's bringing him home to meet me and the family."  
  
"I'm family!" Jess challenged but part of him felt worried about Lorelai's answer. He knew that he was now a well-loved friend of the Gilmore family but suddenly doubt began to creep over his heart.  
  
"Of course you are!" Lorelai hugged him and Jess smiled in relief. "Which is why I can count on you not to stir up old romances and cause some real Christmas mayhem!" Lorelai added. Her eyes fixed on his face. Her mouth set in a determined tight-lipped expression.  
  
"Who me? Hey you've got the wrong guy!"  
  
"Hey, you may have changed a lot, but not that much. You've still got that bad boy streak in you. I've seen it!"  
  
That reminded Jess of something. He took Lorelai's hand and looked into her eyes. She was more to him than his mother Liz ever was. Lorelai looked at him questioningly.  
  
"I have a surprise for you." Jess said, leading her out of the kitchen.  
  
"Oooh! I love surprises! Isn't Christmas great! Just when you think you can't get enough surprises, there's always one more!"  
  
"I'd have to agree." Jess smiled mischeviously.  
  
To be continued. So who's worried yet? Let me know. PS I fixed up the mistakes thanks to the reviews. THANKS GUYS! See!! Reviews really do help!! 


	2. A man, a house and a dog

Title: Christmas Mayhem  
  
Author: MassCoffee  
  
Feedback: My first. I need criticism.  
  
Summary: My take on the future FINAL episode of the GG. Many things have changed, so be afraid, be very afraid. Get some popcorn and coffee and don't forget to widen your horizon.  
  
Author's Note: Thankyou thankyou thankyou for everyone's reviews. My writing can only get better thanks to you guys. But I can't tell you what you want to know or you wouldn't want to read what's going to happen next!  
  
Rating: PG-13. At least it will be.  
  
Pairing: L/L and R/J  
  
Disclaimer: For the love of God don't sue! I don't own anything! Do you hear me!  
  
Spoilers: There shouldn't be any. I only make up some.  
  
  
  
  
  
Lorelai walked with Jess out to his car in the driveway of the inn.  
  
"Awwwww. You've still got your first car!!"  
  
"I couldn't part with it. It's got a lot of memories attached to it."  
  
"We have to name it!"  
  
"No we don't." Jess got into the driver's side.  
  
"Better yet! Let's christen it! I'll buy a bottle of champagne and we'll hit it over the top of the car. The upholstery will get all wet and sticky and you'll have to replace it."  
  
"It's been christened. Numerous times. And not in that way."  
  
Lorelai gave him a dirty look and folded her arms.  
  
"What now?"  
  
"You didn't open the door for me."  
  
"What am I, your manservant?"  
  
Lorelai pouted. Jess rolled his eyes as he jumped out of the car and opened the door for her.  
  
"Thank you kind sir." Lorelai flashed him one of her flirty smiles as she got in the car.  
  
"You keep forgetting Lorelai. I am not my Uncle."  
  
"Hmmm really? Being easily manipulated by yours truly must run in the genes somewhere I guess."  
  
"I give up." Jess got in the car.  
  
"See! see! You're the spitting image of him!" Lorelai poked at him cheerfully. "Can I choose the radio station?"  
  
"Ugh!" Jess put his foot down on the accelerator in frustration. The place he was heading for wasn't far and he hoped that he would reach it without further ordeal. But he needn't have worried. When Lorelai saw their destination, she became speechless.  
  
As Jess parked and got out, Lorelai found herself unable to move. Gripping the car door, she leaned her chin against it and bit her lip. She could feel the tears coming on. Instead of opening the car door for her, Jess let Lorelai take the scene in.  
  
The house.  
  
"Jess, what-?" She turned to him in confusion. Jess just smiled gently.  
  
It was the house. The one she and Sookie had poured all their hopes and dreams into. The house they thought they couldn't ever have because a certain sweet lady had had too many memories attached to it.  
  
"It hasn't changed a bit." She said to herself. She was wrong however. Even now she could see several people working on rebuilding its foundations. Her eyes focused on one man in particular climbing down a ladder. He was dressed in the familiar flannel shirt and cap.  
  
"Excuse me for a moment." Jess said. He went and sat on the hood of the car as he made a call on his mobile. Lorelai came to her senses.  
  
"Hey yuppie boy! You didn't open the door for me!"  
  
Jess glared at Lorelai and then at the phone. The Real Estate company had made him take it when he first got the job. Maybe it was time to resign. Giving himself a shake, he returned his thoughts to the task at hand.  
  
Realizing Jess was not going to open the door for her, Lorelai stepped out on her own. Not sure what to do, she slowly walked up to the house.  
  
"What the hell are you doing here?"  
  
She jumped at the sharp tone in Luke's voice, but quickly recovered.  
  
"Now you've said that many times before." She said a little too sweetly. "And what was my reply?"  
  
"This time its different dammit!" Luke looked at her with disappointment written all over his rugged face. He looked at the car in the distance and his eyes narrowed at Jess.  
  
"Right!" He stormed his way over to the car. Jess had just hung up when Luke reached him.  
  
"What the hell are you doing bringing her here?! It was supposed to be a Christmas present. Hence the importance of giving it to her on Christmas!"  
  
"Don't blame me, she tricked me Luke!"  
  
By this time, Lorelai had reached them and caught this last part.  
  
"I did not! Don't believe him Luke!" Lorelai couldn't help smiling.  
  
"You must be really fond of that lake buster cause I'm about to take you for another visit! I can't believe you told her about the house!" Luke yelled menacingly at his nephew. Jess just grinned.  
  
"You got me the house?" Lorelai interrupted.  
  
They both look at her without responding.  
  
"For a Christmas present?"  
  
Jess smiled at her whilst Luke stared down at his shoes.  
  
"For a present? How? Why?" Lorelai asked, but realized she didn't care just then. She ran back up to the house before either of them could answer. She looked up at it and her stomach began to flutter. Luke and Jess came up beside her.  
  
"The house is in a hell of a state! I don't know what you and Sookie saw in it." Luke said.  
  
"Everything!" She yelled and hugged Luke so tightly that he almost fell over.  
  
"Easy there!" Luke pushed her gently away and blushed. Next was Jess's turn.  
  
"Okay! Now that I'm over the initial shock of it all, I now officially care enough to know how you guys did it!"  
  
"Wait till the lawyer arrives. Then we'll tell you." Jess said.  
  
"Is this the famous Mrs Gilmore?" Another man who had been working on the house had made his way up to the small group.  
  
"Miss Gilmore if you please. Are you fixing my house?"  
  
"Not very bright is she?" The man said turning to Luke.  
  
"She's not normally like this. Lorelai this is Jeromy. He was a friend of my father's." Luke said. The man took off his glove and shook hands with Lorelai.  
  
"I thought we'd have a little more time to work on it before you saw it Miss Gilmore. To be honest I thought we had until Christmas!"  
  
"Oh no! Its perfect! It couldn't have looked better if you had put fairy lights on it!"  
  
Jeromy raised his eyebrow. "Fairy lights? No one said anything about fairy lights."  
  
"Oh that reminds me! I have to call Sookie! She has to feel my happy vibes! Jess I need your phone!"  
  
"Use your own!"  
  
"I can't. It's at home. Somewhere. The batteries are dead. Luke do you have one?"  
  
"A machine that emits radiation, causes brain tumors and fits in your pocket? Wow I gotta get me one of those!"  
  
"No matter what you say diner boy, you can never make me mad at you again!" Lorelai grabbed Jess's phone. She was about to press the dial button when she stopped.  
  
"Oh no!" She wailed. "I can't. I just can't accept it."  
  
"What?" Jess asked, a little puzzled at her reaction.  
  
"The inn! I can't just leave Bobby with no manager!"  
  
"And who may I ask, is Bobby?"  
  
"The new owner! He's the one that bought it from Mia when she retired. At first I thought he was really mean, but then, he kept me on! He didn't turn the inn into an evil casino with karaoke bar! He didn't turn Sookie and I into bar girls with bunny costumes!"  
  
"Bunny costumes? He must be merciful indeed, or gay." Jess said.  
  
"Well I'm sorry Lorelai but I am putting my foot down on this. We went to a lot of trouble to get you, Rory and Sookie this place. Not to mention the numerous times something in that house has hit me on the head. So Bobster can just forget about keeping you on!" Luke growled. There was silence for a moment as no one had expected this little outburst from Luke of all people.  
  
"Thankyou." Lorelai bent her head and dialed Sookie's number. As the phone rang she impulsively hugged Luke and was about to kiss him on the cheek when Sookie picked up the line. Lorelei slowly walked away from the group. The three men laughed as Lorelai began jumping up and down from the excitement of telling her best friend the news.  
  
"Funny lady." Jeromy says as he puts his glove back on. "But I think you convinced her Luke."  
  
"Yeah." Luke frowned. He had noticed that Lorelai had broken the heel on her left shoe from jumping around. He'd have to fix that later.  
  
"You didn't tell me she was your girlfriend." Jeromy accused.  
  
"That's because she's not."  
  
"Just a friend huh?"  
  
"Yup."  
  
"You're so full of crap!" Jeromy said before walking back to the house. "Nice to see you again Jess."  
  
  
  
  
  
Whilst waiting for Sookie, Lorelai and Jess gave themselves a tour of the house. They then sat on the front porch, listening to the sounds of hammers and drills.  
  
"When's the big bad lawyer coming?" Lorelai asked.  
  
"He'll be here a little after Sookie."  
  
"Jess you know I can't accept it."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I can't let you guys spend so much money on me! I know you're rich now and everything but-"  
  
"Who said I spent any money?"  
  
"Huh? Jess, I hate to be the one to tell you this but you can't steal a house."  
  
"You underestimate my skills."  
  
"Jess I can't afford this."  
  
"Yes you can."  
  
"Jess I can't! I'm paying for Rory's tuition as well as many, many cans of dog food."  
  
"You still have that dog?"  
  
"Yes, Max is still alive and well. He is the best boyfriend I ever had. In fact, I think he knows where my mobile phone is. Even better than human Max in that aspect."  
  
"I thought you might have killed him by now. Like those hamsters that one time."  
  
Lorelei's eyes widened. "Luke told you? I'm going to kill him, right after he fixes up this house."  
  
"Fran Weston left that dog to you when she died, didn't she?" Jess regarded her curiously.  
  
"I don't think she thought that Will through very well. Or maybe she didn't like poor old Max."  
  
"She wanted to leave everyone in the town a little something."  
  
"She was a sweet lady. Did you go to her funeral?"  
  
"I was still the town vandal then."  
  
"Oh, well serves you right you rebel you! You should have seen Rory's face when they handed me Max."  
  
"I will savor the thought later. But I get to see your face now, because she left you and Sookie something else."  
  
"No!"  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"No! I feel like such an evil greedy horrible person! I don't deserve it."  
  
"She must have known you wanted it."  
  
"I don't understand. Why now?"  
  
"Well as you can understand, a piece of land is quite a big thing. The will was questioned by a few uh 'friends' of Ms Weston's."  
  
"Oh. I see. They're-they're contesting the will?"  
  
"Not any more! Thanks to me, my sucking up skills and a blood sucking lawyer. Actually he's a good friend of mine so don't tell him I said that."  
  
"Jess, you have the kind of manipulative character that could fool the bouncer guy at the pearly gates! But how did you find out?"  
  
"Luke showed me the photos and told me he wanted to get it for you. He's been saving up for some time and wanted to apply for a loan. I checked the market and found out what was going on. It went on from there."  
  
"Wait a second, you're in Real Estate now?"  
  
Jess waited for Lorelai to come up with some smart comment.  
  
"Today, I am not myself and I am so happy I could cry. So I think instead of insulting your new career I will hug you!"  
  
Lorelai did exactly that.  
  
"And now you owe me big time." Jess's eyes began to twinkle.  
  
"Hey this is not a Godfather movie!"  
  
"I didn't get rich from doing something for nothing."  
  
"But it's a Christmas present. I can knit you a sweater and we can still call it even."  
  
"You can't knit!"  
  
"I can French knit. Rory bought me this kit last year called 'Knitting Nancye!'. Actually, Nancye is really ugly, but she makes really thin strands of wool which are completely useless unless you know how to sew."  
  
"Forget the sweater, how about permission to beat up Rory's guy?"  
  
"Hmmmm. Let me think. No! I know! I'll knit you a scarf!"  
  
"How about being really mean to him?"  
  
"Slippers?"  
  
"Annoy him?"  
  
"Jess! I know you still love Rory! I'm sorry things didn't work out for you guys! But you can't make me take your side over hers! She's my kid! And if she's happy with-with whatever his name is, then so be it!"  
  
"You don't even know his name?"  
  
"Its some really boring name that my mother will just love!"  
  
"She's not happy with him." Jess mumbled under his breath.  
  
"Just because you can't be happy with anyone else, doesn't mean she can't be!"  
  
Jess stared at her coldly.  
  
"Jess I'm sorry. You know how my tongue runs away with me."  
  
"Don't worry about it. Enjoy your present." He got up and left.  
  
"Jess wait! Auggh!" Lorelei buried her face in her hands.  
  
  
  
  
  
In another part of the US, Rory was chucking her bags into the back of a taxi. A man dressed in a trench coat and gloves came up beside her.  
  
"How did I do?" Rory asked him as he kissed her on the corner of her mouth.  
  
"You did fine. They loved you."  
  
"I sensed a lot of hostility."  
  
"Impressing my brother was not my top concern."  
  
"No, no, the bad karma vibe was definitely coming from your parents."  
  
"What funny things you say! Now to Connecticut!"  
  
"Why won't you let me ring Mom and tell her? We never hide anything from each other! This is so important. She'll be upset!"  
  
"Rubbish! It'll be a Christmas surprise!"  
  
"I guess."  
  
"Come on, get in the car before I kiss you again."  
  
"Was that a threat? Somehow I'm not worried if it gets carried out."  
  
The taxi driver honked the horn rudely. They reluctantly got into the car. As they made their way around the block, Rory looked down at the diamond cluster ring on her finger. It suddenly reminded her of the bracelet that her first love had made for her.  
  
I can't lose it this time, she thought.  
  
I can't let Jess claim it, called her deeper subconscious.  
  
But she would not let herself think of that. She turned her thoughts to seeing her Mom again. Rory felt a wave of sadness wash over her as the cab stopped outside the airport. It was her second time in a plane and she had neither told nor shared the moment with Lorelai.  
  
"Are you ok Rory?"  
  
"Fine, let's get the tickets." Rory made a secret promise to herself that she would tear up her new passport when she got home. She was going to get a new one so that she and Mom could still go on their 'first flight' together.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Yes I can get you two tickets to New York Sir". The lady at the computer announced cheerily. "But you must understand that your request is a little late, especially at this time of the year. Unfortunately, the closest flight has only one in business and one in economy, will that suit?"  
  
"That's fine. Rory?"  
  
"Huh?" Rory turned in confusion. She had been looking at the baggage trolleys on the side wall. She was imagining how much Lorelai would have liked to have played with one of them.  
  
"You take business and I'll take economy. Fine?" Her fiancé asked impatiently.  
  
"Fine." Rory smiled meekly.  
  
"The flight's in three hours at door E-51, enjoy your flight." The lady smiled. As they made their way down the hall, Rory caught sight of a phone.  
  
"I just need to call my roommate! She told me to ring her at the college before she went home for the holidays!" Rory explained as she broke away from his side.  
  
"I'll see you at the terminal!" He called after her.  
  
  
  
  
  
At the Gilmore house, Lorelai and Luke were pulling out the Christmas decorations. They were dragging out the old Christmas lights when Lorelai's bare foot stood on something sharp.  
  
"Ow! Stupid pointy glass thingies!" Lorelai hopped on one foot until the sharp pain subsided.  
  
"I don't know why you insist on making me untangle the lights every year. You never put them away properly the year before and you always manage to drop, break and stand on every single glass cover." Luke complained as he inspected Lorelei's foot. Seeing no harm had come to her, Luke sat on the floor and began the futile task of untangling the cord.  
  
At that moment, the phone rang. Lorelai hobbled up to the phone and picked it up.  
  
"I am in pain and I do not want to be disturbed!" Lorelai whinged down the phone.  
  
"Just go out and buy a new set of Christmas lights Mom!"  
  
"Rory?" Lorelai forgot her foot. "Hey there Miss Smart Professional Future Journalist! When does break begin?"  
  
"You're not making Luke untangle them are you?"  
  
Lorelai turns to Luke. "Rory says hi!"  
  
"Hmffff." Luke ignores her as he manages to undo a knot.  
  
"Luke says grunt!"  
  
"Mom you have to listen to me very carefully. Please don't talk or get mad until the end!"  
  
"I'm already mad! You're not here with me and Christmas is very very close!" As Lorelai's face was one big smile, Luke severely doubted Lorelai had meant what she said. But as the phone conversation progressed, Luke watched Lorelai's face grow steadily less spirited. A slight frown had formed on her brow and her smile had become curled and less pleasant.  
  
There was a slight pause before Lorelai grabbed a pen and wrote a few things down.  
  
"Of course I'm not mad! Oh my God I am so happy for you! Just come home okay? I love you! Bring me a souvenir. One of those globey thingies that snow when you turn them upside down." Lorelai said. A few goodbyes were exchanged before she finally hung up the phone.  
  
"Everything okay?" Luke asked. Lorelai huffed as she carefully stepped over some of the lights and sat down next to him.  
  
"She went on a plane without me."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"She's getting married Luke! To some prosy guy called Arthur Donahue. He made her take a plane to visit his parents. Now they're catching one back to New York this afternoon. That makes it two times Rory has been on a plane and I haven't."  
  
"I think you're worrying over the wrong things here. Did you just say she was getting married?"  
  
"No." Lorelai sniffed. "She's engaged."  
  
"Is, uh, prosy boy coming with her?"  
  
"Yup, which means I have to be nice to him now even though he was with Rory on her first flight and I wasn't."  
  
"Enough about the stupid plane!"  
  
"I knew this would happen. I knew she'd stop telling me everything once she went to college. I must have turned into my mother and nobody was here to stop me! Now its too late."  
  
Luke gave her a hug. "Stop panicking, gees! You know that's not true. Rory loves you. What time is the plane coming in?"  
  
Lorelai sniffed. "Late tonight."  
  
"We can make it! Have you got the plane details?"  
  
"Yes." Lorelai pointed to the piece of paper up on the table. Luke got up.  
  
"Let me go get my truck and we'll head to New York straight away."  
  
"But Rory said she's coming here by cab."  
  
"We'll give her a surprise of our own." Luke said as he left the house. Lorelai smiled and jumped up. She made her way upstairs to grab her coat and some shoes.  
  
  
  
  
  
Jess's face appeared around the door of the kitchen to make sure everyone was gone. He had heard every word. He had not meant to eavesdrop. But the word 'Rory' made him do strange things.  
  
He had come with the intention of helping Lorelai with her decorations. Instead, he made his way over to where the phone was. The piece of paper was still there with all the details Rory had left her mother.  
  
Jess pulled out his own phone from his jeans pocket and dialed a number.  
  
"Yes, Hello, I wanted to talk to Caitlin!"  
  
There was a pause as he was put on hold. Jess smiled to himself.  
  
"Hello Caitlin? Yes it's Jess Mariano. Listen, I have a few favors to ask."  
  
  
  
  
  
"Attention Please. Lorelai Gilmore would you please report to the services desk near door A-12. I repeat, Lorelai Gilmore please report to the services desk near door A-12, thankyou." The speakers in the terminal echoed down the numbers halls of the airport.  
  
Rory looked at Arthur. They were standing in line for boarding.  
  
"It's ok, I'll see you at the end of the flight ok?" He smiled. Rory gave him a quick kiss before breaking into a run. It was ten minutes when the desk finally came into view.  
  
"Lorelai Gilmore." Rory wheezed out as she leaned against the cool desk. The woman looked up at her indifferently. Her name-tag read the cheesy words 'Hi! My name is Caitlin'.  
  
"Phone for you in that booth over there."  
  
Rory nodded, too out of breath to say anything for a moment. She hurried over to the phone and picked it up.  
  
"Mom?" She asked as she picked up the phone. No one answered.  
  
"Hello hello? Whoever you are you're making me miss my plane! So speak up!"  
  
The caller hung up. Angry, Rory stormed up to the lady at the desk.  
  
"If they ever call again, don't bother notifying me." Rory said before walking back to the way she came. As she boarded the plane, she noticed in confusion that there was another services desk only a few inches from her.  
  
After the plane had taken off, Rory pulled off her seatbelt and got out a book. It was no point in searching for Arthur in economy. On the way here he had slept the entire way.  
  
  
  
  
  
Waiting at the airport, Lorelai was gripping Luke's arm very tightly. Amidst a large group of people waiting for the same plane to arrive, they were the only two standing.  
  
"She's coming through this door right?" She looked at him.  
  
"Yup."  
  
"Is the plane here yet?"  
  
"No. Why don't you go get yourself a coffee?"  
  
"No! I have been forewarned by many survivors to never to taste the coffee sold in airports."  
  
"Are you sure that's not airplane food they were warning you about?"  
  
"Better safe than sorry."  
  
"Are you sure? You smell alarmingly like toothpaste."  
  
Lorelai pulled out a half empty pack of mints. She pulled out another one and popped it in her mouth.  
  
"Wanhn hunn?" She said, holding out the bag to him. Luke shook his head. "You should frequent airports more often if they make you quit coffee."  
  
"I will build up an immunity to poisonous coffee before that happens." Lorelai's hands were shaking from nervousness. They calmed down a little as Luke wrapped his hand over the fingers that were gripping his coat. He knew how upset she got when Rory was coming home. She was always so scared that Rory had grown up much too fast while they were apart.  
  
"I feel much more nervous about seeing her in an airport. Do you think we'll recognize her?" Lorelai asked, half jokingly.  
  
"Unless she's dyed her hair green I'll think we'll be safe." Luke said sarcastically. In the corner of his eye, he spied Jess coming up to them. That suspicious looking grin had not left his face since he had offered to go with them to New York. Luke knew that grin and didn't like it one bit.  
  
"Here's the Grinch!" Lorelai said, pretending to hide her mints from him.  
  
"Awww come on. I bought them for you." Jess smiled and made a grab for them.  
  
"Luke help! Save my mints!" Lorelai shrieked as she ran behind Luke.  
  
"Quiet! Airport security is really jumpy these days." Luke said.  
  
"Yes. They can never be TOO careful these days." Jess said dangerously. Lorelai was about to ask him what nasty secret he was hiding when the timetable screens flashed the arrival of Rory's plane.  
  
"Oh my God! Rory's here! Luke quick we have to be out front!" Lorelai grabbed Luke's arm. Jess had decided not to be a part of this first reunion, but Lorelai was having none of that. Before Jess could sit down, Lorelai had appeared beside him and pulled him right up to the gate entrance.  
  
"Are you sure you couldn't get us any closer?" Luke asked as he felt the crowd behind him pushing him into the metal gate. Lorelai wasn't listening.  
  
Amongst the other greetings exchanged between the new arrivals and their friends and family, Lorelai's voice was as clear as day.  
  
"Rory!" She leapt over the fence scaring the other passengers out of their wits. Rory didn't seem to care.  
  
"Mom!"  
  
Lorelai grabbed her only daughter roughly by her upper arms and hugged her tightly. After what seemed like ages, they finally broke apart.  
  
"Excuse me, I thought you were somebody else. A young girl actually about this high?" Lorelei held out her hand at about chin height. Rory grinned broadly.  
  
"I swear! It's me Mom it's me! I'm just wearing very thick shoes!"  
  
"I can't believe you went on a plane! What was it like? Tell me everything and leave out nothing!"  
  
"They gave me a complimentary bottle of Chardonnay!"  
  
"Did they give you a coloring book?"  
  
"No. But I was in business class!"  
  
"All the more reason why they should have given you a coloring book. Oooooh. Was it very spacious? Was your seat bigger than your old bed?"  
  
"Twice the size! And oh! Luke!" Rory hugged him, so glad to see his friendly face.  
  
"Hey Rory! You look great for someone who's jetlagged." Luke said. What was with these Gilmore girls and hugs lately?  
  
"You have a new coat!" Rory looked at it in surprise.  
  
"Uh huh." Luke answered uneasily.  
  
"You don't have that pathetic excuse for a life jacket anymore?"  
  
"Ahhh no. I think Lorelai burnt it after she got me this one."  
  
"I hate being away. I miss all these little things! I so should have been there when Mom made a ritual burning of that coat!"  
  
"I put on ceremonial paint and everything." Lorelai said smiling. Actually, it was sitting in Max's kennel at home, but Luke would probably take it back if he knew it was there. Lorelai felt happy that Luke was here to greet Rory. Actually, any thought of Luke these days made her happy.  
  
"So where's this fiancé we've all heard about?" Jess asked as he silently joined the group.  
  
Rory gaped and felt her throat going dry.  
  
The pit of her stomach, which had survived the plane trip without any trouble, was now traitorously churning.  
  
She wanted to hug him, kiss him and tell him that she still loved him after what seemed like ages. She wanted him to forgive her for getting scared. For thinking what they had had was too intense.  
  
The urge was stronger now that he took a step nearer.  
  
The ring on her finger felt like it was burning into her skin. All she wanted to do was to rip it off and throw it into the air.  
  
Jess took her hand ever so lightly and gently kissed her cheek. "Hey." He said softly, his eyes not leaving hers.  
  
Oh God how I missed that scent, Rory thought.  
  
Lorelai gave Luke a small knowing smile. Luke's frown relaxed a little, but he knew Jess better than anyone else. Right now, his instincts told him that Jess was up to something.  
  
"I think we've lost him." Lorelai said.  
  
"Huh?" Rory said. Damn, it was the second time that day she had been caught off guard.  
  
"Your fiancé, he must have passed us already. He's probably gone ahead to get the bags. Ooooh that reminds me, we have to try one of those luggage trolleys! Ready for another ride baby?" Lorelai said. Rory and her mother joined hands and ran down the escalator together.  
  
The trolley had suffered a great deal of damage by the time they had actually gotten Rory's bags.  
  
"I wonder if they sell them." Lorelai idly asked Luke as Rory reluctantly climbed out of the trolley.  
  
"I bet they'd sell you that one." Luke retorted.  
  
"I just thought. Wouldn't it be the perfect thing to use if one's car has broken down and they really really wanted to use a drive-through to buy food!"  
  
"Not unless you wanted a tour of the local police station."  
  
Rory and Jess came back up to them.  
  
"Still no sign of the elusive Arthur?" Lorelai asked.  
  
"You know, I'm beginning to think you made him up." Jess added cheekily.  
  
Rory punched him in the shoulder. At least she could do that without feeling like she was cheating on Art.  
  
Jess threw her back a very sexy smile. Uh God, she was wrong.  
  
"I'll go find him." Rory said as she left them.  
  
Half and hour later, Rory began to truly panic.  
  
"He's not here!" She said. "He can't have gone ahead! He's never been here before!"  
  
"Weren't you sitting next to him on the plane?" Luke asked.  
  
"No, we got separated! He was in economy."  
  
"A true gentleman. Grandma will try and steal him away from you."  
  
"Not if he's not here!" Rory stormed off to one of the checkout desks.  
  
"You see that?" Luke said to Lorelei as he pointed in Rory's direction. "That nervous breakdown she just had proves beyond a doubt that she has not changed and that she is truly your daughter!"  
  
Lorelai hugged him. "You just made me so happy!"  
  
Luke and Jess rolled their eyes.  
  
  
  
  
  
Rory approached the young man at the checkout desk.  
  
"Excuse me. Where is my fiancé? He was on the plane and now he isn't and now I am getting very very scared. In fact I'm thinking about calling up my old friend Paris here so that she can scare you into answering me. Believe me, I'm reaching that point where I am perfectly willing to inflict that torture upon you!"  
  
"Um okay Miss. What was this young man's name?" The man turned to the computer in front of him.  
  
"Arthur Donahue! He was in economy for the New York flight that arrived just under an hour ago!"  
  
"He was huh? It says here he never boarded."  
  
"What!" Rory shrieked. The man began get nervous again.  
  
"He never boarded Miss. I'm sorry."  
  
"Do something! Ring up the airport! Maybe he had an accident? Don't make me ring Paris!"  
  
"Miss I don't know what you're talking about, but if you sit over there for ten minutes, I will call and make some inquiries."  
  
"Thank you." Rory said and flounced into the proffered chair. Fifteen minutes later, Lorelai joined her.  
  
"So Arthur never boarded huh?"  
  
"He must have been killed! Robbed!"  
  
"Or maybe hon, just maybe he changed his mind about going?"  
  
"No! He wouldn't do that do me!"  
  
Lorelai gave her a worried look.  
  
"Don't look at me like that! He didn't reject me! He owes it to me to come here. I had to sit through his stupid parents and his stupid brother trying to discern my faults and failings. He did not turn into a cowardly custard at the thought of meeting my Mom! No way!"  
  
Luke came up to them with two cups of coffee in his hands. "Jess and I just packed up the car. Here!"  
  
Lorelai eyed hers suspiciously.  
  
"I went to the shop outside to get it for you. Now drink!"  
  
"Thanks Luke." Rory smiled and drank deeply. Despite its obvious lack of caffeine, both girls appreciated the hot drink.  
  
The man at the desk gestured for Rory to join him. She jumped up and ran to him. He held the phone up for her to take.  
  
"For you." He said and left her alone. Rory picked up the phone held it to her ear.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Rory! Are you ok?"  
  
"Art! I'm fine! What happened?"  
  
"Don't get me started! These rude people here at security reckon they got an anonymous tip saying that I was carrying firearms! Can you believe it?"  
  
"You! You never even carry a letter opener around with you! Did they find anything?"  
  
"What a funny thing to say. No darling they didn't. Once this is settled, I'll be over there as soon as I can."  
  
"Do you want me to come back and join you? Can I do anything?"  
  
"No I am perfectly fine. They've taken my mobile so I'll have to call you when I arrive. You're staying at your mother's house right?"  
  
"Uh huh!"  
  
"I promise I'll be there in time for Christmas!"  
  
"You'd better be!" Rory said. They said their goodbyes and Rory hung up the phone. She turned around and bumped straight into Jess.  
  
"Security got him huh?"  
  
"I can't believe it! There are some crazy people in this world. You know I think the guy that made the tip was the same one that called me at the airport."  
  
"What are you talking about?" Jess asked as he and Rory finally exited the airport.  
  
"I'm saying I think we were set up!"  
  
"I think you're very tired." Jess said, trying to stop the wicked grin from showing itself too much.  
  
Something clicked in Rory's brain that moment. She remembered when Jess had destroyed the ice sculpture so that a humble Gilmore snowman could win a competition.  
  
"Jess you worked at an airport once right?" Rory asked him.  
  
"Yeah, what are you getting at?"  
  
Rory stopped for a moment. Wild accusations were suddenly crowding her tired brain.  
  
"Finally! Is everything okey dokey?" Lorelai said as she and Luke approached them.  
  
"Hunky dory!" Jess replied.  
  
"Wait till you see my Christmas present Rory!" Lorelai hugged her daughter one more time before they got into the car.  
  
"And there's many more to come!" said Jess.  
  
"More?" Rory gave Jess the evil eye.  
  
"I don't think this Christmas will be one I want to remember." Said Luke.  
  
"Oh yes you will! You're getting lots and lots of hugs pal. And I'm dragging you three to Christmas parties every night!"  
  
"Ho ho ho Luke!" Jess teased.  
  
Ho ho ho indeed.  
  
To be continued. And if you thought that was a wild ride. Strap yourselves in cos there's more coming! 


	3. Blame the Bubbly

Title: Christmas Mayhem  
  
Author: MassCoffee  
  
Feedback: My first. I need criticism.  
  
Summary: My take on the future FINAL episode of the GG. Many things have changed, so be afraid, be very afraid. Get some popcorn and coffee and don't forget to widen your horizon.  
  
Author's Note: Thank you so much for the reviews. I see I've inspired some wonderful authors to write some fictions of epic proportion. I look forward to reading them! And now that I've finished this section, I will be out there reviewing!  
  
Rating: PG-13. At least it will be.  
  
Pairing: L/L and R/J  
  
Disclaimer: For the love of God don't sue! I don't own anything! Do you hear me!  
  
Spoilers: There shouldn't be any. I only make up some.  
  
  
  
  
  
For once, Lorelai's house was quiet. It was early in the morning and there was no evidence of the sun whatsoever. Lorelai's bedroom was crowded. She and Rory were curled up together on the upper half on the bed. On the lower half, Max the dog was greedily spread out. The thick soft fur on his back was touching the toes of his two mistresses.  
  
Downstairs, Luke was to be found strewn across the couch. His arm lazily stretched out to the floor. Jess was a little harder to find. He was fast asleep on the rug hiding between the broken Christmas tree lights and the tinsel. After getting back from New York, both men had been far too tired to go home. So when Lorelai offered for them to crash here, there was no argument. Well, as little argument as could be expected in the Gilmore house.  
  
As the sun's rays sprinkled down on Luke's face, his eyes sprung open. There was no clock but his instinct told him that opening time was drawing near.  
  
  
  
  
  
A few hours later, Luke had finished serving the early risers, and was now serving the late comers. "Good morning sunshine!" Lorelei hailed Luke with her cheery smile and sat down on a stool. Max followed and sat silently at Lorelai's feet. Luke frowned but didn't say anything. He and Lorelai had fought lengthy battles about letting Max in the diner. In the end, that damn dog had won him over. But so help anyone else who dared to bring a pet into his new diner!  
  
"The usual please! And get Max some extra bacon! I don't think Babette fed him enough last night." Lorelai smiled. Luke wrote down numerous things on his pad and gave it to Caesar.  
  
"So is Rory still sleeping?"  
  
"Like a rock! Do airplane companies drug passengers? Because I swear Rory is not normally like this when she comes home."  
  
"It's called jet lag."  
  
"Jess was gone. I know I shouldn't but I still get worried that he's off robbing a bank."  
  
"For the first time, I think you have reason. That kid was up to something last night."  
  
"You know, the way he was acting you'd swear he was the one that caused all that trouble with Rory's fiancé. He really did look like the Grinch."  
  
Lorelai and Luke gave each other a look, then turned away.  
  
"Nah."  
  
"Ridiculous thought."  
  
Max whimpered.  
  
"Food please! Max demands food!"  
  
Two plates were put in front of her. Lorelai placed the paper plate down on the floor for Max and then straightened back up to eat her own.  
  
"That dog is scaring my customers away." Luke said.  
  
"Puh-lease! You disinfect this entire area once we've gone! If your customers are going to complain about anything, it'll be about the respiratory problems caused by inhaling large doses of chemical fumes. Max nearly fainted one day!"  
  
"Sometimes I think you care about that dog more than me."  
  
"Let me tell you, it's a tough call." Lorelai teased. Luke huffed and walked away.  
  
As she picked apart her meal, her blue eyes surveyed the new diner. It was similar in some ways to the old one. The fire that had happened there some years ago may have destroyed it, but it hadn't destroyed Luke's attachment to it. Together with the insurance payout and Taylor's undesired help, the diner was built just a little differently from the original.  
  
Lorelai cringed as she remembered that horrible night. Luke had been utterly broken. Not one had dared to approach him. Then, out of nowhere, Jess had been the one to comfort him. Together, she and Jess had pulled the pieces of his life back together. Lorelai had never forgotten that. Jess had found a special place in her heart from that moment on.  
  
"Nobody likes people who play with their food Lorelai."  
  
Lorelai swung around to see her mother sitting next to her. Emily was looking down her nose at Max as he licked up the last morsels on his plate.  
  
"Richard and I went to see Rory. We let ourselves in. I hope you don't mind. When Rory told me where you were, I decided to stop over and see you as well."  
  
"You broke into my house?" Lorelai mocked.  
  
"Well you're just asking for it with that kitchen door."  
  
"Didn't I fix that?" Luke asked as he put a coffee down in front of Lorelai. "Tea Emily?"  
  
"No Luke, coffee will be fine."  
  
"I knew she'd had that addiction from birth." Luke mumbled as he poured out another cup of coffee.  
  
"You did fix it! Its just Rory and I missed the old lock. So we, uh, modified the one you fixed." Lorelai said as she gave Max a soft pat.  
  
"In other words you didn't know how to install a dog flap and so you decided to leave the kitchen door open at all times." Luke stared at her.  
  
"Sometimes you know me so well you scare me." Lorelai replied.  
  
"I'll be over there tonight." Luke said as if giving in to another one of their fights.  
  
"No she's not! She's got a Christmas party to attend." Said Emily.  
  
"I fail to see what that has to do with me Emily." Luke replied gruffly.  
  
"Well since it's a party especially for Lorelai's friends, I would have thought that you would come as well."  
  
"Wow! Mother mingles with the commoners!"  
  
"Come on Lorelai, we have things to do. I take it you have some select friends you'd like to invite?"  
  
"I have a better idea. Why don't we change the location to the Inn as its closer and we'll hand out flyers advertising free food."  
  
"How vulgar."  
  
"Trust me! You'll get more people!"  
  
"You're scaring me Lorelai. Is this the only way we can get the townspeople to go to a party?"  
  
"That and the offer of free beer."  
  
"Free beer? I'm there." Luke teased.  
  
"See? Now take Max and I'll see you outside. I have something I have to say to Luke."  
  
Before Emily could say anything further. Lorelai had thrust Max's leash into her hand and pushed them outside.  
  
Lorelai turned and walked up to Luke, who had an odd smile on his face. She threw her arms around him and rested her chin on his shoulder.  
  
"That was hug number one for today." She said pulling away. Luke was laughing.  
  
"What?" Lorelai asked. Luke pointed outside his window. Max was running down the road at a furious pace. Emily was trying to catch up to him without running.  
  
"I love that mutt." Luke said as Lorelai put some money on the counter and ran after her mother.  
  
  
  
Although the party was to be held at the Inn, Emily had insisted that she still run it. Lorelai submitted to her mother's will and rang most of the numbers in her phone book. When she had finished, she sat back on her chair with a satisfied grin. No one could refuse the will of Lorelai. Everyone had said 'yes'. Even Sookie had agreed to bring Jackson and the baby for a little while.  
  
"I'm sorry, am I interrupting one of your fantasies?" Jess asked as he approached her desk.  
  
"No, just a little moment of triumph. What are you doing here?"  
  
"I wasn't feeling welcome at the Gilmore house, so I decided to come here and give you a hand with the party."  
  
"Wasn't my mother the reason you weren't feeling welcome at home?"  
  
"No, your parents are nice, it's Rory who's giving me the cold shoulder."  
  
"What is with her?"  
  
"Don't ask me."  
  
"It must be this Arthur dude. He's turning her into a meanie."  
  
"Who's Arthur?" Emily walked into the room, causing the other two to jump.  
  
"Mom! Don't you have napkins to fold?"  
  
"Jess! Just the boy I wanted to see. I need your help moving a few chairs."  
  
"Mom, Jess is on vacation from work. Let him relax just a little, huh?"  
  
"Don't be silly Lorelai. Jess doesn't mind helping out, do you Jess?"  
  
"Of course not Mrs Gilmore. I came here to do nothing else."  
  
Emily smiled, obviously pleased with this answer.  
  
"You know Jess. You would have been perfect for my granddaughter."  
  
"Mother!"  
  
"Except she inherited a little commitment phobia from her mother."  
  
"My sentiments exactly." Jess added, wanting add more fuel the fire. Lorelai knew that Jess was just teasing. But Emily had been out of line.  
  
"That is not true! Rory is getting married to some boring guy just to make you happy!"  
  
"I beg your pardon Lorelai?" Emily sullenly pursed her lips. Jess began to frown. Perhaps he had pushed a little too far this time.  
  
"Just-just forget it!" Lorelai tried to leave. But Emily closed the door and locked it before any of them could leave.  
  
"I will not forget it Lorelai. Who is this boring guy that you are blaming me for?"  
  
"Arthur Donahue." Lorelai seethed.  
  
"Donahue? Good gracious! That name is anything but boring."  
  
"Of course! You approve! I knew you would. I'll tell Rory the happy news." Lorelai rolled her eyes.  
  
"You mistake my sentiments Lorelai. I will not have any Granddaughter of mine marrying into that bloodline."  
  
"You know the jerk?" Jess asked, a little too eagerly. A glare from Emily caused him to avert his eyes.  
  
"His father broke up with Matilda, his second wife, a lovely creature I assure you, to be with a-a maid. I have no doubt that his son has the same reckless spirit."  
  
The room was silent for a moment.  
  
"Well, that was unexpected." Lorelai announced.  
  
"Lorelai, I think you'll agree that I have put up with a LOT from you over the years. And here I was thinking we were finally getting along when I find out that you knew Rory was getting married and you didn't tell me?"  
  
"Mom it was news to me about a day ago!"  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yes! I promise!"  
  
Emily turned to Jess, who had been watching the scene unfold with unholy glee.  
  
"I suppose you're trying to sabotage Rory's engagement to Donahue?"  
  
"No ma'am!" Jess replied hastily. Emily nodded, with a twinkle in her eye.  
  
"I suppose we must invite this Donahue to dinner?"  
  
"He won't be here for a few days, I hope. Ooops, who said that?" Lorelai looked around the room.  
  
"Very well then. I see I need not worry for the moment. Jess come with me!" Emily left the room. Jess looked over at Lorelai, who was gripping the desk as if it were her only life support.  
  
"You witnessed a fight." She said.  
  
Jess nodded, approaching her slowly.  
  
"You are truly one of the family now. That was just a taste of your welcoming ceremony!" She said. Jess walked over to her and gave her a hug.  
  
"Get my real Rory back will ya?" She sighed in his ear.  
  
"I'm working on it."  
  
"Hurry. I want to see her before Christmas."  
  
  
  
  
  
The townspeople of Stars Hollow were always charmed by the Inn. But tonight, the main hall was decorated beautifully and the full credit was given to whom it was due.  
  
"Very charming Emily, not too over the top." Richard said as Emily wrapped her arm around his.  
  
"Richard, that's your third glass in an hour."  
  
"I'm merely getting into the Christmas spirit Emily. Besides, I have a strong suspicion that the non-alcoholic refreshments have been tampered with in some manner."  
  
"Don't be ridiculous Richard!" Emily said as she picked up a fresh cup of coffee from a nearby table. She took a sip and choked on it.  
  
"This drink is laced with vodka!" Emily's eyes focused on Lorelai and Rory who were on the other side of the room. They had been watching her with huge smiles on their faces. Emily decided she was going to wipe those smiles right off their cheeky faces.  
  
"Don't Emily." Richard pulled her back. "Not tonight. Its Christmas time."  
  
"But-"  
  
"If I promise that this will be my last drink until after dinner, will you promise not to bother them about it?"  
  
"Oh, very well."  
  
Meanwhile, Lorelai was laughing at her little prank.  
  
"I can't believe you ruined Grandma's drinks!" Rory scolded. But its effect on Lorelai was annulled by the uncontrollable giggles that followed it.  
  
"What can I say? I'm a party girl." Lorelai said proudly.  
  
"That you are."  
  
"You're a party girl too!"  
  
"I am?"  
  
"It takes two to pull a really good prank."  
  
"So it does."  
  
"So I told Grandma you're getting married. Ooooh they've brought a platter of banana cake in! Lets get some banana cake!"  
  
"You did what?"  
  
"Come on, banana cake isn't that bad. It's not like you're actually eating a banana per say."  
  
"You told her about Art? I can't believe you!"  
  
"It came out by accident, ok?"  
  
"No, not ok! I didn't want her to know just yet."  
  
"Why? Everyone except Grandma was sharing in your so obvious pleasure at marrying someone you don't love. It seemed hardly fair that she should miss out."  
  
"I am not having this conversation with you."  
  
"Hey!" Jess approached them.  
  
"Go away!" Rory snapped.  
  
"Ok bye!" Jess rolled his eyes and turned back the way he came.  
  
"Mom, I arrived yesterday and you've already managed to come to this conclusion?"  
  
"I can't believe you just bit Jess's head off! If you don't mind, I'll think I'll go join him and see if he wants to raid the banana cake."  
  
"Fine. You and Jess can go and gang up on me! Go get married! You two suit each other! First you being angry with me! Then Jess telling Art that he has the wrong number."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I heard him while I was in and out of sleep this morning. Art called four times! Each time Jess telling him he had the wrong number!"  
  
"How do you know it was Art?"  
  
"I just know!"  
  
"Oh yeah! I forgot that college was teaching you mind reading skills."  
  
"Amongst other things. Like how to know if your mother is angry with you even if she pretends everything is fine and it really isn't!"  
  
"Rory I'm not mad!"  
  
"Yes you are!"  
  
"No I'm not! Look I'm full of Christmas joy! See? I'm just, worried."  
  
"That I'm ruining my life?"  
  
"Well, yes, now that you bring it up!"  
  
"Well I'm not!"  
  
"Good to know. I'm going to join Jess now."  
  
"Fine."  
  
"Fine."  
  
They stormed off in different directions. Sookie, who was seated on a chair nearby, had been the only witness. She had wanted to intervene, but her arms were full with a sleeping child. She looked down at her baby and smiled.  
  
"Never fear little one. Christmas is a time for miracles. Now where's Jackson. It's time to change you! JACKSON!"  
  
Lorelai stormed over to Jess.  
  
"Are you alright?" Jess asked, turning away from the group he was with.  
  
"I should be asking you that. I can't believe Rory swapped bodies with a green eyed monster without my permission!"  
  
"I'm alright. I just have to work on my timing."  
  
"Can you believe it? She accused you of telling Arthur that he had the wrong number."  
  
Jess was caught off-guard by this. His whole face was riddled by guilt.  
  
"You didn't?"  
  
"Time for another drink." Jess headed towards the refreshment table.  
  
"Jess wait! I'm not mad. In fact, if I were in a better frame of mind, I'd think it quite funny. I'd laugh! I'd be in hysterics on the floor."  
  
"You want a drink? I think someone added something to the hot cocoa, but it shouldn't do you too much harm."  
  
"Jess, after all we've been through, talk to me!"  
  
"It hurts ok? It damn well hurts! She left me because she was scared. Now it's too late!" He yelled. 'Wow, where did that come from?' he thought.  
  
For once, she could read his carefully disguised eyes. She could see the pain bubbling and spilling out onto the surface. But the thing that bothered her most was the knowledge that her daughter had wrought that pain.  
  
She wondered how many men she herself had inflicted that pain upon.  
  
"It's all my fault! My mother was right!" Lorelai moaned.  
  
Knowing exactly where Lorelai's thoughts had led to, Jess reached out and grabbed her hands.  
  
"NEVER tell yourself that. You and Rory are-are-"  
  
"Wonderful?" An impish grin had crept across Lorelai's face. Forgetting his anger, Jess gazed at Lorelai for a moment.  
  
"Yes, I suppose you are." He wished Luke could see her like this. She looked very pretty under the Christmas lights.  
  
"And because I'm so wonderful, I get the first dance after dinner." Lorelai squeezed his hand. Out of the corner of his eye, Jess could see Rory gaping at them.  
  
"Sure." There was suddenly an unpleasant curl playing about his lips. "As many as you like."  
  
  
  
  
  
Dinner was uneventful. However, it would have been a true feast for someone who studied body language. Lorelai's downcast eyes were avoiding her daughter's. Rory's anxious gaze was moving back and forth between her mother and Jess. Jess's full attention was focused on Lorelai. And Luke, who had arrived late, was suspiciously eyeing all three.  
  
When dinner was over and the group went back to the hall for supper and dancing, Luke approached Sookie.  
  
"Hi Sookie. How are you doing?"  
  
"Who me? I'm fine. Just a little tired these days. Did you enjoy the dinner? Emily and I debated for ages on that dessert. But you just can't go wrong with date pudding on Christmas, can you? If you're looking for Jackson he's in the kitchen feeding-"  
  
"Actually, I wanted to ask you what happened this evening."  
  
"Oh nothing much. Ryan and I debated on the menu for the next week but I don't think that's what you're asking is it? Oh well Lorelai and Rory got into a fight about something silly. And I wasn't worried, really, until-"  
  
They both looked out at the dance floor to where Lorelai and Jess were dancing. As they watched, Jess whispered something to Lorelai that made her face go red.  
  
"Luke go dance with her! Cut in! Quick!" Sookie said. "That kid is using my best friend for his own ends and I don't like it!"  
  
"What! Why me? I can't dance. Lorelai's a big girl. Jess is a big guy. He wouldn't do anything-" He trailed off as he took another look at Jess's face.  
  
Oh yes he would.  
  
Luke stormed towards the dance floor.  
  
"Excuse me Jess, I think Rory wants to speak with you."  
  
"Oh really? Is this imaginary Rory?" Jess mocked. His Uncle was anything but a good liar.  
  
"If you don't leave right now I'll hit that smug look right off your face." Luke was furious.  
  
"Hey! Where's your Christmas spirit Mister?" Lorelai asked Luke as Jess left. Luke put his arm roughly around her waist and began to dance with her.  
  
"What the hell were you doing with that kid? You were making a huge spectacle of yourself, that's for sure."  
  
"I beg your pardon?" Lorelai pulled away from him.  
  
"Oh come on Lorelai. You must have known what he was up to."  
  
"Not that I have to answer to you, but nothing untoward happened."  
  
"Oh right! It looked so innocent too!" Luke left her alone on the dance floor. Seething with embarrassment and anger, Lorelai pursued him.  
  
"Excuse me, but I thought you of all people knew me best."  
  
"Yeah, well, I was sure wrong about you this time."  
  
"Would you stop implying what I think you're implying? Nothing happened. What am I saying? Nothing started!"  
  
"He was using you to get to Rory!"  
  
"May be! But to me he was telling me how he got Arthur in trouble at the airport!"  
  
Luke stared at her. Lorelai was in earnest, he could tell. Then why did it still hurt?  
  
"It was so funny!" Lorelai continued. "If you weren't so mad with me now I would have been telling you about it. Then I would have told you about what happened with Rory. Then I'd ask you what the hell is wrong with me. Why I'm fighting with my daughter when she's finally home. Why I'm such a screw up?"  
  
Luke stared down at his feet, knowing he would be unable to say anything or do anything without giving away what he felt for her.  
  
"Well? I think after leaving me out on the dance floor, making wild accusations and insulting our friendship involves some sort of apology. Don't you think?" Lorelai folded her arms in expectation.  
  
There was a long pause.  
  
"What happened with Rory?" He asked gently. Lorelai broke into smile and took his arm. This was how Luke forgave. As she began telling him what had passed between mother and daughter, she didn't notice how Luke never released her arm.  
  
  
  
  
  
Jess had seen Rory run outside. He had followed her and reached out to take her hand. But Rory had thrust him away.  
  
"I have had it with you Jess! You have done nothing but cause trouble since I first came home!"  
  
Jess made to speak, but Rory interrupted him.  
  
"Don't you dare try to deny it! What were you doing with Mom? Whatever it was, it was disgusting. She's-she's my Mom for crying out loud!"  
  
"Now that's a nice way to talk about Lorelai. What, don't you trust her anymore?"  
  
"I trust her but I sure as- I don't trust you."  
  
"Of course you don't. That's why you ran away years ago, wasn't it? Before I could hurt you right?" Jess retorted, the smile fading away from his face.  
  
"Jess I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I'm sorry! A hundred times plus one I'm sorry! I was younger, and scared and-and-"  
  
"Stupid? That was what you were going to say wasn't it? Being with me was so stupid! So glad we cleared that up."  
  
"I don't have to answer to you! You turned Mom against Arthur. You used her affection for you to get at me. You-you're a creep! I want you to leave now!"  
  
"Fine. By the way, where's your ring?"  
  
Rory looked down at her bare finger and charged at Jess. "Give it back! I want it now!"  
  
"I don't have it! Not that I expect you to believe me."  
  
"Why should I? Mom told me about what happened with Dean and the bracelet!"  
  
"I didn't take it them either! You dropped it Rory! I merely found it!"  
  
"Give it to me!"  
  
"I told you! I don't have it this time!"  
  
"I don't believe you!"  
  
"Funny isn't it? When I first made enemies of everyone in this town, you were the only one who trusted me. But now, Lorelai is the only one who would believe me. Lorelai knows I love you more than anything, while you look at me like a thief. Have it your way, I'm leaving tomorrow."  
  
"You do that! But make sure you stop at my house to drop off my ring!" Rory yelled after him. Tears were flowing freely down her face, but Jess didn't see them.  
  
Not wanting to go back to the party, Rory made the long journey home on foot. She didn't notice the snow that fell down on her. She didn't notice her nose and hands go numb from the cold.  
  
Exhausted and sweaty, she finally reached the front steps of the house. Panting heavily, she sat down on the bottom step and stared down at her feet.  
  
Something was buried in the snow.  
  
Oh no.  
  
She made a swipe for the object, picking it up in her frozen hands.  
  
It was such an ugly ring.  
  
Fresh tears came.  
  
I was younger, and scared, and in love.  
  
The ring was flung back into the snow. Getting up, Rory entered the house, gave Max his dinner and trudged into her old bedroom. She picked up her notebook and flipped it open to a page. Her flushed trembling fingers pressed the unfamiliar pattern of numbers into the cordless.  
  
"Hello? I'm looking for Lane Kim? She's not there? Can you tell her Rory called? Thanks, who is this? Reggie?"  
  
A brief smile flitted across her face.  
  
"Reggie. Tell her it is of the utmost-yes- I suppose its called girl stuff. Bye." Rory hung up. Without taking any of her things off, Rory curled up into her bed and fell asleep.  
  
  
  
  
  
Rory awoke to see Lorelai's startling blue eyes searching her face. Somehow, she had managed to fit in the bed beside Rory when she had gotten home the night before.  
  
"Boy, that champagne really got the party going last night didn't it?" Lorelai joked nervously.  
  
"Yeah, it was some party."  
  
"That girl and her mother. My God. You could tell that they had too many pieces of fruitcake."  
  
"Yeah. Who needed a TV with them around?"  
  
"A classic fight!"  
  
"Oh classic! I was laughing the whole time."  
  
"So do you think the daughter forgave the mother this morning?"  
  
"Only if the mother forgave the daughter."  
  
They hug. Rory holds up her naked hands.  
  
"No ring."  
  
"Oh. I'm sorry hon."  
  
"No. Don't be. I didn't love him. I don't know what I was thinking."  
  
"Goody! Now I can tell you what Grandma told me about him!"  
  
"Oh I hope she won't be disappointed."  
  
"Trust me when I say she won't!"  
  
"Grandma didn't have anything good to say about him?"  
  
"Nope."  
  
"Did she say she wanted me to be with Jess too?"  
  
"Not in so many words."  
  
"It's too late Mom. I called him a liar, a cheat and a thug. He's leaving today!"  
  
"I call him that all the time. Do you think he takes me seriously?"  
  
"He hates me. He-" Rory stopped as they both heard a car pulling up outside the house. Lorelai got up and walked to the living room where she peeked out the window.  
  
"Who is it?" Rory asked as Lorelai appeared back at her doorway.  
  
"It's Jess. Hon, I have to say goodbye to him if he really is leaving. Are you mad?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Just hide out in here. I'll keep him out the front, okay?"  
  
"Okay."  
  
Lorelai closed the door behind her and Max as they exited the house. Encouraged by Max's energetic spirits, Lorelai jogged up to where Jess had parked his car. He was opening the boot up.  
  
"Wow! Santa came early this year! Would this be a bad time to tell you I'm Jewish?" Lorelai teased as Jess started pulling out Christmas presents and putting them on the path.  
  
Max began sniffing at the presents.  
  
"Good boy Max! Oh! Tell me what's in the big one!" Said Lorelai.  
  
"I don't know if Rory told you. But I'm leaving."  
  
"I know. I'll-we'll miss you."  
  
"I wasn't sure whether you'd want to talk to me this morning."  
  
"Ugh!" Lorelai waved her hand in dismissal. "We were all a little high on the bubbly last night. I was the worst, believe me. I have a one of a kind hangover to show for it."  
  
"I'm gonna kill the person that spiked those drinks."  
  
"Uh, yeah! Yeah! You do that! You know I think I saw Ryan sneaking a flask back into his coat."  
  
"Well, that's the last of them." Jess looked down at the large pile on the ground.  
  
"There had better be some chocolate in there somewhere!"  
  
"You can't open them until Christmas!"  
  
"So there is chocolate in there?"  
  
"Oh, I forgot! One last present."  
  
As Jess carefully pulled it out, Lorelai saw that it wasn't wrapped in Christmas paper like the others. It was a large thin white rectangular box. He put it down carefully against some of the other presents.  
  
"This," Jess began mischievously, "Is a very special present. Take very good care of it."  
  
"Can I open it now?" Lorelai whined. She picked up the tag and read it. "But this is for Luke?"  
  
"Very good! You're very alert this morning for someone with a hangover!"  
  
"Stop ragging me! I'm bursting with curiosity, and a headache."  
  
"I want you to give this to Luke and say it's from you."  
  
"Now I'm worried. I won't do that unless you warn me what's in it first."  
  
"Yes you will! I put a lot of time into this present. Promise me you'll follow my instructions."  
  
"It won't make him angry?" Lorelai put her hands on her hips.  
  
"At you, no."  
  
"Hence the 'me' giving him the present. Will it make him horny?"  
  
"No!"  
  
"Crazy?"  
  
"Will you stop badgering me about it and just give it to him?"  
  
"Rory loves you. She was crying in her sleep when I got home last night."  
  
Jess looked up at the house. He wanted to run in there, badly.  
  
"No she doesn't. I just said some hurtful things to her. Tell her I'm sorry."  
  
"I'll tell her it was the bubbly."  
  
"Sure." Jess and Lorelai hugged for a long time. Finally, he got into the car.  
  
"Um, Jess, just on the off chance that someone might want to visit you really really urgently. What might your address be?" Lorelai asked innocently, twisting her fingers.  
  
"It's best for her if she doesn't know. I'll be back to see you and Luke at Easter. Merry Christmas Lorelai."  
  
"What about a phone number?"  
  
Jess backed the car onto the road and drove away.  
  
"Damn!" Lorelai breathed. "I forgot to give him his presents."  
  
To be continued. Does anyone know what Luke's present is? I do! He he he! Here's a hint - Luke is not himself. 


	4. Setting the Scene

Title: Christmas Mayhem  
  
Author: MassCoffee  
  
Feedback: My first. I need criticism.  
  
Summary: My take on the future FINAL episode of the GG. Many things have changed, so be afraid, be very afraid. Get some popcorn and coffee and don't forget to widen your horizon.  
  
Rating: PG-13. At least it will be.  
  
Pairing: L/L and R/J  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to the television show "Gilmore Girls".  
  
Spoilers: There shouldn't be any. I only make up some.  
  
  
  
  
  
Lane clumsily pushed the door to the apartment open. Turning around, she picked up a drum, a violin and three bags of groceries.  
  
Reggie, who was obviously engrossed with the TV, did not see the difficulty his roommate was in.  
  
Lane could feel something slipping and she knew she had to make a choice. It was the violin or the eggs.  
  
Reggie leapt out of his chair when several objects crashed to the floor.  
  
"What the hell are you doing?" He gasped as he began picking up the groceries.  
  
"God made the choice! I didn't." Lane announced dismissively as she cleaned up the mess. Reggie made his way back to the couch.  
  
Making sure that her violin had survived unscathed, Lane went over to the window seat and began to tune it.  
  
"How's it coming?" Reggie asked, his eyes not leaving the screen. Lane played a little for him.  
  
"I've made an appointment with the recording studio in three days. We can start using it during practice hopefully before our New Years gig!" She said. "That reminds me, did Alec call and say whether he'd be able to make practice during Christmas?"  
  
"No but some chick rang."  
  
"That's really helpful Reg. Did I tell you how helpful you are?"  
  
"I remembered her name! It was something really weird! She wanted to talk about some chick thing."  
  
"Her name please?"  
  
"Glory?"  
  
"You mean Rory."  
  
"That's the one! See? Told you I remembered it!"  
  
"You amaze me! Did she leave a number?"  
  
"Nope."  
  
Lane picked up the phone and hesitated only for a moment. Trying to remember Lorelai's old number brought back some harsh memories. Like the fight she and her mother had before she left Stars Hollow forever.  
  
She and Rory had stayed in touch as best they could, but their lives were firmly set in different paths. When she heard Rory's voice on the other end of the phone, she had hardly recognized it.  
  
"Rory is that you?"  
  
"Lane! How are you?"  
  
"I'm doing fine. I'm thinking of murdering my roommate though. Are you ok? Has anything happened?"  
  
"Do you remember Jess?"  
  
"Of course I do!"  
  
"I love him."  
  
"Well good. Good for you."  
  
"I told him I hated him."  
  
"Oh. Well, I can't say that it never happened to me."  
  
"Huh? When?"  
  
"Replace Jess with my Mom and you've got an instant match."  
  
"You haven't talked to her yet?"  
  
"As far as I know she moved back to Korea and is pretending I don't exist. Moving the subject right along."  
  
"Lane I'm sorry."  
  
"It's ok. She'll deal, I'll deal. We'll all deal. Back to hating Jess."  
  
"I told him I hated him cos I was engaged to Arthur."  
  
"Is this the guy with the floppy hair?"  
  
"I'm not engaged to him anymore."  
  
"It seems like it's all fixed to me."  
  
"Arthur doesn't know we're not engaged anymore. And Jess left leaving no hint of his whereabouts."  
  
"Ahhhh, I see a problem."  
  
"Help!"  
  
"It's simple. Inform Arthur that he's not engaged to you. Then hire a series of private detectives to search for Jess's whereabouts."  
  
"I can't afford that!"  
  
"Appear for a few minutes on national TV and tell him you love him?"  
  
"Something a little more personal? Anyway, what if he isn't watching."  
  
"I give up."  
  
"Oh."  
  
There was a pause.  
  
"I'm coming to you." Lane announced.  
  
"What! Lane you don't have to do that!"  
  
"You need me. It's time for me to use my Get out of Jail Free Card. After all, you're still my number one fan!"  
  
"Yeah so where's my signed poster of the band?"  
  
"All in good time. We just need to find a better bass player and we'll be on our way to fame."  
  
"I heard that!" Reggie called out from the couch.  
  
"See you tonight, I'll call you at the bus station."  
  
  
  
  
  
"Hey Luke." Lorelai said without looking up at him. She was busy licking stamps and placing them on envelopes that encompassed the entire surface area of one of the larger tables in the diner.  
  
"You've made yourself at home I see. Chaos and all." Luke said gruffly and tried to make some space for a mug.  
  
"Don't spill any!" Lorelai shrieked as she threw her arms across the table and pulled her precious envelopes towards her.  
  
"You're sending Christmas cards?"  
  
"No, Amnesty International sent me a letter saying that the life of Santa's head elf was in my hands."  
  
"You sacrificed a tree and exchanged it for the life of a supposed elf which forces parents to spend millions of dollars on non-biodegradable toys which inevitably wind up in a landfill?"  
  
"Hey I think you saved some oxygen by not breathing during that entire speech. Do the planet a favor and see how much longer you don't have to breathe!"  
  
"Drink your coffee-killer."  
  
Lorelai sat back and sipped her coffee. "Just in time. My mouth was running dry from licking the stamps."  
  
"You know you can buy stamps that are already sticky."  
  
"It's not a personalized Christmas card if there's no bodily fluids involved."  
  
"Blood and sweat and all that, huh?"  
  
"Absolutely! I gave myself a major papercut. Behold it in all its glory." She held up her index finger to reveal a deep cut that was bordered by glitter and ink.  
  
"Lorelai, it's two days before Christmas."  
  
"So I left it a bit late. But Rory refused to help me!"  
  
"The post is closed tomorrow."  
  
"So?"  
  
"And Christmas day."  
  
"Your point?"  
  
"These cards will not reach their assigned destinations before Christmas."  
  
"Ummm, the head elf is delivering them for me?"  
  
"He's dead. You were too late. They killed him."  
  
"Har har har. Always that sense of humor we love so well. The way I figure it, the greetings on the cards always mention the New Year. So technically the cards will not be late."  
  
"Where's Max? I think I'd have a more productive conversation with him."  
  
"Rory's already claimed his company."  
  
"You two haven't talked yet?"  
  
"Yeah. We made up this morning."  
  
"Good." Luke walked off and Lorelai thought she had seen the last of him for that morning. However, he returned in ten minutes with a swab of damp cotton and a bandage. Luke crouched down beside her and waited for Lorelai to extend her hand.  
  
"Will that sting?" She asked.  
  
"Only one way to find out. Come on, be adventurous."  
  
"How about kissing it better instead?"  
  
"How about I rip your arm off?"  
  
Lorelai reluctantly held out her finger and flinched a little as he pressed the cotton ball onto the cut. Her lively blue eyes gradually settled on Luke's down turned face.  
  
Lorelai loved everything about that face. It was a pity he frowned so often. It wasn't fair. Why wasn't he happy? Life definitely owed him a coffee served with cream and one of those little chocolate peppermint sticks that go on the side.  
  
So where was it?  
  
As Lorelai supposed, this was the real world. Where she and Luke and so many others were destined to wander alone in the dark.  
  
"Jess told me you were saving up to buy that place." She said gently.  
  
"It wasn't easy. You would have been waiting another five years at the rate I was going. And that's still with a loan." He replied gruffly. His eyes remained glued to her hand.  
  
"You should invest the money into something YOU want."  
  
"I don't need anything. Besides, it's going towards your renovation costs. That house is a poor excuse for architecture."  
  
"You could buy a new truck."  
  
"I've already got one."  
  
"You could buy a better one. One with air conditioning and a cd player, oooh and little cup holders to hold a flask of that yukky green tea you like so much!"  
  
"This is the height of today's technology? Cup holders? What an age we live in."  
  
"You know Luke. I have a Christmas card here for you."  
  
Luke rose as he finished bandaging her finger. "Excuse me while I go express my joy by doing some cartwheels."  
  
"No need to be rude! I have one for Jess too." A dimple showed itself at the corner of Lorelai's mouth.  
  
"Oh really?" He replied testily.  
  
"Except I don't have his address."  
  
"What a shame." Luke walked away. Lorelai ran after him.  
  
"Oh come one Luke! The engagement is off and Rory is really upset! I'll put extra glitter on your card."  
  
"Now how could a guy refuse extra glitter?"  
  
"Luke!"  
  
"Lorelai, I won't tell you. Both for Rory's and Jess's sake."  
  
"He's in New York right? Just tell me that! He's not overseas or anything right?"  
  
Luke weakened at the sight of those pleading eyes.  
  
"NY would be a safe guess."  
  
Lorelai kissed him on the cheek and went back to her table. She'd torture him some more later, when he was being less likable.  
  
When she had posted most of her cards, Lorelai made her way home. The snow had thawed a little making the footpath all slippery. On her slow journey towards the front steps, she caught sight of a ring.  
  
Picking it up, she carried it inside and walked into the kitchen. As she poured herself a drink, her eyes fell upon on Luke's present. It took up most of the dinner table when laid down flat.  
  
She was dying to open it.  
  
"Mom!" Rory hurried into the kitchen. "Lane's visiting Stars Hollow just to see me!"  
  
"Oh wow! Our little local rock star is coming to stay!"  
  
"She'll need a red carpet!"  
  
"We'll need to alert the local newspaper!"  
  
"And a limousine!"  
  
"The whole kit and caboodle!"  
  
"Is it ok if she stays here?"  
  
"Sure. To what do we owe this special treat?"  
  
"I told her about Jess."  
  
"She's coming because of a Rory crisis? That's so sweet!"  
  
"Isn't she?"  
  
"How's she doing?"  
  
"She's still playing in New York with the same group."  
  
"And Mrs Kim?"  
  
"Lane thinks she's moved back to Korea."  
  
"They haven't talked yet. That's so sad. Promise me we'll never do that!"  
  
"I promise."  
  
"Ok then. Tell me about this." Lorelai pulled the ring out of her pocket.  
  
"Arrggh, you set me up!"  
  
"Dumping Arthur's ring in the front lawn so that Max buries it is not how you end an engagement."  
  
"I know."  
  
"So Arthur doesn't know?"  
  
"No." Rory hung her head.  
  
A smile crept across Lorelai's face.  
  
"Guess what. Luke knows where Jess is."  
  
"He does?" Rory's eyes lit up hopefully.  
  
"But I'm not squeezing it out of him until you end this with Arthur."  
  
"What am I thinking? It's too late for me and Jess anyway!"  
  
"No it's not!"  
  
"Yes! It is. I might as well have knocked him unconscious with the Christmas tree and pegged all the presents at him."  
  
"Ah, but at least you refrained from strangling him with the Christmas stockings."  
  
"Do you think he'll want me back? After what I said to him?"  
  
"Not if you're engaged! Now get to it. Whether Jess takes you back or not I will not have you marrying prosy boy!"  
  
"Prosy boy?"  
  
"A nickname Luke and I gave him. Don't look at me like that! It was all in good clean fun! Bad mouthing Arthur was not involved in any way. And keep the ring, we can sell it at the pawn shop."  
  
"Mom!"  
  
"Kidding! I'm kidding! We'll give it back to Max to bury."  
  
"But Mom! There's one teeny tiny problem."  
  
"What would that be?"  
  
"Along with his luggage, Art's phone was confiscated."  
  
"Uh huh? So tell him when he rings you."  
  
"Aren't you forgetting something? When he tried to ring me, Jess told him he had the wrong number."  
  
"Oh yeah."  
  
"There is good news!"  
  
"Oh good. I was getting worried there."  
  
"He knows your address."  
  
"Oh goody! So one day he's just going to appear at the front door and surprise us?"  
  
At that moment, the doorbell rang.  
  
The girls froze.  
  
"Don't look at me. I'm not getting it. I'm too wigged out." Lorelai said. Rory hesitated and then walked unsteadily towards the door. She took a deep breath and swung the door open.  
  
Art flashed his charming smile.  
  
"Rory! I made it!" He opened up his arms.  
  
"Art!" Rory didn't move. Then awkwardly hugged him. Art gave her a kiss on the mouth.  
  
"They finally let me go! What an adventure. I tell you we are NEVER using that airline again." Arthur picked up his suitcase from the verandah and walked in. Rory followed behind at a fair distance.  
  
"Wow! So this is your house? And this must be the famous Mrs Gilmore!" He announced warmly as Lorelai sauntered into the living room.  
  
"Hey there! Arthur is it? I'm not married and I'm not famous yet. But strangely I do give out autographs quite frequently. Want some juice?"  
  
"Uh, no thanks. I'm sorry I couldn't notify you two of my arrival but it seems that Rory gave me the wrong number."  
  
"Uh, I'm sorry?" Rory stared down at her feet. Arthur embraced his fiancé to show that he forgave her.  
  
"Why darling, where's your ring?" He asked.  
  
"Huh?" Rory looked down at her hand, then over to Lorelai.  
  
"Oh! Uh! Rory was just, uh, showing it to me." Lorelai held it up with a twinkle in her eye.  
  
"Art! There's something I have to talk to you about." Rory closed her eyes as if bracing herself for a thunderstorm.  
  
"Of course. But first let me have a bit of a rest first. You have no idea how draining that whole experience was. I'll call a hotel, get myself settled and then I'm all yours. We'll have all Christmas to talk."  
  
"Uh. Ok." Rory felt a little disappointed. She led Arthur to the phone, gave him some numbers to call and walked back to her mother. Lorelai handed Rory the ring.  
  
"This is going to be SOME Christmas." Lorelai announced, not without amusement.  
  
"I will tell him! But you heard him. He's too tired. Stop staring at me like that."  
  
"I wasn't doing anything!"  
  
"Yes you were, you're wearing that disapproving face that says 'I'm not impressed with Rory Gilmore'."  
  
"You lie! I never owned such a face."  
  
"You're still wearing it!"  
  
"Ok ok! It's coming off now! Want to help me decorate the verandah with tinsel?"  
  
"No. I'll stay with Art."  
  
"You know. I'm taking Luke his presents tomorrow. I was planning to use them as a torture device, but-"  
  
"Mom!"  
  
Lorelai grinned evilly as she went out onto the verandah, leaving Rory alone in the living room.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Mr Mariano?"  
  
"What!" Jess shot cruelly at his flustered employee. He had been unable to concentrate on work since he had returned and everyone had been feeling his wrath.  
  
"I-I just wanted to give you an invitation sir. T-To my Christmas party." The young woman shakily held out the brightly colored invitation.  
  
"Huh? Oh yeah sure." He tossed it on his desk with the other Christmas junk and went back to glaring at his work. Couldn't they see that he just wanted to be left alone?  
  
He wondered if Luke opened his Christmas present yet?  
  
Jess couldn't help smiling over that. A couple of the office girls caught that smile and began to chatter.  
  
Jess pushed away from the table and stretched. He knew he wouldn't get any work done. Not while that Donahue guy was still alive. Still breathing.  
  
The phone caught his eye. Perhaps he'd just ring Caitlin and see if the jerk had left for New York yet. Rory wouldn't ever have to know anything about it.  
  
Yes, that's what he'd do. Nothing more, nothing less.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Oh my God! That's where the antique shop used to be!" Lane pressed her face against the window of the back seat of Lorelai's jeep. In the front seats Rory and Lorelai exchanged a smile.  
  
"So what did you get up to on your first night back at Stars Hollow?" Lorelai asked Lane. But Lane was too busy staring at her old home.  
  
"Oh we just went to visit some friendly faces." Rory said, remembering Babette's look of horror at Lane's new hairstyle.  
  
"I've brought lots of music back for you guys. I've been collecting for Rory for ages." Lane said as she leaned over to them.  
  
"Ah! Long live the black market!" Lorelai pulled the car up outside Luke's.  
  
"Luke's! He rebuilt!" Lane got out of the car.  
  
"Yup! Behold the new diner in all it's glory. Now put these on." Rory handed Lane a pair of antlers.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Cos we already have two Santas. So we decided to make you our reindeer." Lorelai said as she put on a Santa hat. She chucked another Santa hat to Rory.  
  
"Just humor her. You know my Mom." Rory whispered. Lane shrugged and pulled on the antlers. Lorelei opened the boot and they all grabbed an armful of presents and carried them into the diner.  
  
"Hey Luke, guess what day it is?" Lorelai grinned as they dropped the presents up onto the counter.  
  
"Go away, you're Halloween costume is too scary." Luke grumbled.  
  
"Excuse me! Patrons of Luke's diner! Raise your hand if you think its Halloween?"  
  
The customers just stared at her over their newspapers and coffee. Lorelai turned to Luke in triumph.  
  
"See, they all opt for the much more fun idea of it being Christmas Eve. Funny that."  
  
"And stop scaring the customers!"  
  
"But look at all the presents I brought you! And all one day earlier than everyone else!"  
  
"See how lucky you are!" Rory went around the other side of the counter and gave him an unexpected hug. Luke looked across at Lane and a faint memory stirred.  
  
"I know you right?" He asked bluntly, but not rudely.  
  
"No Luke, you're not hallucinating. That's Lane, our trusty reindeer." Lorelai sat down on a stool and pulled apart a doughnut. Most of the people at the diner were still staring at her. But today, she didn't care if the whole world heard the crazy things that came out of her mouth. It was Christmas after all.  
  
"She's a reindeer all right! Squeeze her nose long enough and it goes red." Rory added as she sat next to Lane. Lane grinned and turned to Lorelai.  
  
"So do we make Luke open the presents now?"  
  
"Yup! For many years he refused to tell us when his birthday was. This makes up for all those surprise birthday parties he didn't have. Poor disadvantaged Luke." Lorelai grinned at him. But Luke was still focused on remembering Lane's face. Suddenly, something seemed to click.  
  
"Lane. I remember you." Luke left and presently returned with a burger. Lane squealed in delight.  
  
"You do remember me!" She announced happily as she took a bite into the burger.  
  
"Hey Luke! What food slash beverage does my face remind you of?" Lorelai asked.  
  
"Oh wait. I know this one. Ummm, A nice healthy bowl of cereal." Luke replied. Lorelai scrunched her nose up.  
  
"A pancake?" Rory suggested.  
  
"An watermelon!" Lane said between bites. The other three looked at her.  
  
"What? Her face is shaped like one." She defended.  
  
"That's it reindeer girl, you're fired."  
  
"So sad. She was such a good reindeer." Rory patted Lane on the head.  
  
"I'll be right back." Luke left shaking his head.  
  
"That better not be a celery stick you're bringing back buster!" Lorelai called out after him.  
  
"So, which one are we making him open first?" Rory asked.  
  
"Jess's present." Lorelai cleared a space on the bench and placed the large box in the middle of it.  
  
"Although, just for this morning it's not Jess's present." Said Rory.  
  
"That's right. All lips must remain sealed. Hmmm. That guy is taking far too long to be making coffee. I'll think I'll just go get my own." Lorelai crept quietly behind the counter and grabbed the jug nearby.  
  
"Good morning ladies. What's all this?" Taylor approached Lane and Rory.  
  
"They're Luke's Christmas presents." Rory answered.  
  
"A little over the top Lorelai." Taylor shook his head.  
  
"Never. We love Luke, and his food and his coffee." Lorelai took a sip of her cup, and then spat it back out again. Luke, who had returned from the kitchen in time to witness this, snuck up behind her.  
  
"Gotcha!" He whispered causing Lorelai to choke on what little was left in her mouth.  
  
"I hope you enjoyed the remaining contents of yesterday's coffee Lorelai." Luke couldn't help but smile just a little. Lorelai glared at him as she took the fresh coffee pot from his hand and poured herself another drink.  
  
"What do you want Taylor?" Luke asked dangerously. The smile had disappeared as quickly as it came.  
  
"Nothing at all Luke. I'm just curious about what the girls came up with to give you."  
  
"Taylor has offered to personally approve each item before you're allowed to keep it." Lorelai said after drowning out the horrible taste in her mouth.  
  
"Here Taylor, you can wear my hat." Rory stood up and put the Santa hat on Taylor's head.  
  
"Awww, that makes you look so cute. Quick! Where's a camera?" Lorelai teased, standing next to Luke.  
  
"Hey there's Kirk. I wonder if he still takes photos?" Rory looked over to the table near the window and waved. Kirk was eyeing them all suspiciously but continued eating his meal.  
  
"I think he had to stop when his mother hid his camera. Now Luke, it has been unanimously decided that you should open this one first." Lorelai pointed to the large undecorated box.  
  
"But you didn't wrap it." Luke mocked.  
  
"I have taken very good care of that present. It have fed it, burped it, resisted the urge to draw a smiley face on it and protected it from Max's drool. You'll notice that I even left him at home this morning so that he would not have the smallest chance to destroy this present. Now you will oblige my efforts by opening it!"  
  
Luke looked at Rory for confirmation.  
  
"She speaks truth my friend. She loves that box more than me." Rory reassured him. Luke bent down and broke the seal on one end of the cardboard cover. The top of the box lifted up like a lid taking up most of the space left on the counter.  
  
Inside the box, the present was covered with butchers paper.  
  
"Rip it Luke! Rip it!" Lorelai cheered. Luke gently tore at the paper and pulled it away from what was underneath.  
  
When the last strip of paper was pushed aside, it took a moment for everyone to absorb and understand what had been hidden within.  
  
It was his Dad's hardware sign.  
  
The group was silent.  
  
"But, the fire-?" Rory whispered as quietly as she could. Nevertheless, her voice cut through the silence like a knife.  
  
Everyone had been convinced that the fire had claimed it. Luke had spent hours picking through the wreckage trying to find some scrap of it.  
  
"Is-is it the original?" Rory asked. Again she spoke very quietly. She was afraid her words would bother Luke, who was looking very upset. Taylor leaned forward and inspected the burn marks on the edges. It was clear that it was the old sign, cleaned and touched up.  
  
Lorelai, who had finally looked up at Luke, felt a wave of horrible horrible sadness wash over her. She hadn't seen him this upset since the diner had burnt down.  
  
It was the first and only time she had seen sweet steady Luke fall to pieces.  
  
God she hated seeing him like that. Life was so damn mean.  
  
"Luke?" Lorelai gingerly reached out and touched his shoulder.  
  
"The 'D', the 'D' is a little higher than the other letters." Luke finally choked out. He felt his eyes going hot and blurred.  
  
Rory felt like she was going to cry. She clutched Lane's hand.  
  
"It's ok Luke, we can fix it." Lorelai put an arm around him protectively.  
  
"No, that's-it's always been like that." Luke defended gruffly. Awkwardly, he wiped his eyes with his sleeve. Finally, a small smile flickered across his face, setting the small group around him at ease. Warm knowing smiles were exchanged as Luke took a step away from the counter and tried to compose himself.  
  
"Luke's leaking Mom." Rory smiled, wiping her own eyes. Lane giggled.  
  
Luke wanted to deny it, but his throat was too dry.  
  
"Quick Rory! Get Bert before he floods the kitchen." Lorelai wrapped her other arm around him.  
  
"Bert?" Taylor asked. "Who's Bert?"  
  
"Luke's trusty toolbox." Rory answered. Taylor still looked confused.  
  
"Mom named it." She added.  
  
"Of course. Who else would name a tool box?" Taylor remarked. He also wanted to warn Luke that he would not allow him to put the sign back up outside. But something about Luke's face told him to hold his tongue. There would be plenty of time for arguing about that later.  
  
Luke turned to Lorelai with the intention of thanking her. The soft look in her eyes however, made him look away again. He couldn't stand up to those eyes right now.  
  
"Luke, uh, there's something I should tell you about this present." Lorelai said as she let go of him.  
  
"What is it?" He asked, resisting the urge to kiss her.  
  
"This present is really from Jess. He told me to give it to you after he left." She was going to kill that little runt. Similar thoughts ran through everyone else's minds. All those years ago, Jess must have found it before Luke did. By why did he hide it? Surely he must have known of Luke's attachment to it?  
  
Although Jess's initial intentions may not have been good, he had come through in the end. The evidence, after all, was sitting in front of their very eyes.  
  
"I think he was scared that we'd run him out of town." Lane remarked.  
  
"He wouldn't be far wrong." Rory said.  
  
"That kid. I'll kill him if he's sets one foot in the direction of this diner." Lorelai smiled sugar sweetly.  
  
"I spent ages looking for it! And he had it all the time!" Luke didn't know whether to laugh or break something.  
  
"If you want to beat him to a bloody pulp, be my guest." Taylor offered generously.  
  
"Er, thanks Taylor." Luke eyed his nemesis curiously.  
  
"Okay, now that we have planned our revenge on Jess, you have to open this one! It'll be quite useful." Rory picked up oddly shaped and badly wrapped present and placed it in front of him.  
  
"Let me guess, you wrapped it." Luke looked at Lorelai.  
  
"Was that an insult Butch?"  
  
The rest of the morning was much more cheerful. Jokes and insults alike were thrown left and right. Curious customers watched as the place soon became littered with wrapping paper and a strange assortment of gifts.  
  
Rory reluctantly had to leave when Arthur left a message on her beeper. Eventually, Lane left them to explore the old town on foot. Taylor remained only for another cup of coffee.  
  
"Don't forget the Stars Hollow Christmas party tonight." Taylor said as he left.  
  
"That guy is so full of Christmas spirit. Did you see how nice he was? Why can't you be like that?" Lorelai pestered Luke.  
  
"Urgh. Look at this place." Luke began picking up the paper.  
  
"No leave it! It makes your diner look very Christmassy!"  
  
"No it looks like a potential law suit."  
  
Lorelai stood up and tapped him on the back while he was bent over.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I gotta go check on the Inn and make sure that Michel is not having a nervous breakdown. Then Santa's gotta go and visit Sookie and the baby. So I'll see you at the party tonight?"  
  
"Don't eat too many of Sookie's mince pies Santa, or you'll suddenly find those jeans won't fit you anymore." Luke called after her.  
  
"The nerve!" Lorelai flung the diner door open. Oh well, at least she got the last word.  
  
Lorelai walked over to her car and searched her pockets for her keys. There was a moment of panic before she heard someone jingling them behind her.  
  
Luke was looking a little too self-satisfied for her taste.  
  
Snatching the keys from his hand, Lorelai turned back to the car. She was acutely aware of Luke coming closer to her as she tried to unlock the door.  
  
She wondered if he had ever been this close to her before. It sure felt different.  
  
Stupid lock, why wouldn't it work?  
  
He bent down and gently brushed his lips against her cheek. Lorelai shivered. She could feel his hand lightly touching her lower back.  
  
The tip of the key snapped off.  
  
Luke stepped back.  
  
"You did that on purpose!" Lorelai yelled at him harshly. She clenched her hands into tiny fists in order to stop the shaking.  
  
"I just wanted to thank you for the presents, gees." Luke awkwardly took another step back, clearly confused as to how he had upset her.  
  
He had just wanted to kiss her on the cheek.  
  
Lorelai glared at the door, too embarrassed to say anything else. Why had she snapped at him like that?  
  
Luke sighed and walked back towards the diner.  
  
"Luke wait!"  
  
He turned around to face her.  
  
"I'm sorry. I was horrible just then. You should confiscate my Santa hat. I have no right to wear it. I'd be dishonoring good Santas everywhere." Lorelai pulled it off and held it out to him like a peace offering.  
  
"Forget it."  
  
"What if I let you thank me again? And this time I won't jump a mile away, or yell at you."  
  
"It's ok Lorelai."  
  
"No I want you to! Or I know you'll morph into 'grumpy Luke' during Christmas."  
  
Luke half smiled.  
  
"True, he looks a lot like real Luke." Lorelai continued. "Only-only it's not the same."  
  
Her voice died with this last word.  
  
And so encouraged, Luke slowly walked up to her.  
  
As her stomach began churning, she began to regret what she had said. Her hands were shaking again and when Luke reached out to hug her, Lorelai inhaled sharply.  
  
Sensing the tension, Luke jumped back.  
  
"What?" She asked, her face going red.  
  
"You're scared of me!" Luke accused.  
  
"Puh-lease diner boy. You couldn't scare a bunny rabbit."  
  
"Why?" He looked directly at her.  
  
"Why what? Why couldn't you scare a bunny rabbit? You just can't. You're more of a 'lure and kill' kind of guy."  
  
"Why are you scared of me?"  
  
"I'm not scared! It's that damn coffee residue I drank."  
  
"You never did that before."  
  
"Do what? Hug? We hug all the time. I've given you about a hundred since I got my Christmas present."  
  
"I give up. You need to be diagnosed and locked up!" Luke turned around and walked back to the diner.  
  
Lorelai was rooted to the ground. She was too scared to do anything except pretend nothing had happened. That's what she had always done before.  
  
But this was different. She didn't want to lose him.  
  
She loved that diner guy.  
  
  
  
TO BE CONTINUED. I can't wait to post the next chapter. I'm probably more excited than you are. Does that make me weird? Never mind. I don't think I want to know the answer. 


	5. Drama Night

Title: Christmas Mayhem  
  
Author: MassCoffee  
  
Feedback: My first. I need criticism.  
  
Summary: My take on the future FINAL episode of the GG. Many things have changed, so be afraid, be very afraid. Get some popcorn and coffee and don't forget to widen your horizon.  
  
Rating: PG-13.  
  
Pairing: L/L and R/J  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to the television show "Gilmore Girls".  
  
Author's Note: ENJOY! I DID!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
It was damn cold outside in her backyard. But Lorelai didn't care. Nothing helped her forget her worries more speedily than when she was surrounded by snow.  
  
She could hear Lane practicing on her violin inside the house. That girl kept playing the same melancholy song over and over. It made Lorelai feel so sad. Why couldn't Lane play a crappy Christmas tune instead?  
  
"Mom, what are you doing? We have to head for Taylor's party soon." Rory asked as she joined her mother.  
  
"Do you ever get that feeling that the world is going to end?" Lorelai remarked despairingly. Rory rolled her eyes.  
  
"Come on Mom. Lane's song isn't that bad, nor are Christmas Eve parties. Look I'll go tell Lane to play Frosty the Snowman, would you like that?"  
  
"No. That song is sad too." Lorelai sunk down to the ground and sat in the snow.  
  
"Mom. I have lightly threatened you numerous times about sending you away to an insane asylum. But I am afraid that the men in white suits will become very very real if you do not tell me what is wrong."  
  
"I'm just waiting for it to snow? Why won't it snow when I want it too?" She pouted.  
  
"Okay. I'm locking you up and I'm throwing away the key."  
  
"Oh but I want to be locked up! I am a complete head case. I'm in love with him and I didn't see it coming. I am such an idiot. Stupid, stupid Lorelai!"  
  
"Are we talking about Luke? Cause if we are, its about time! I mean, my God, you had to wait for him to get you a house before you realized?"  
  
"How come you're so sure its Luke Miss Smarty Pants?" Cold water was beginning to seep into Lorelai's jeans.  
  
Rory pointed up above her. Lorelai was sitting directly under the Chuppah. She winced at how transparent she was and buried her face in her hands.  
  
"I am going to lose him. I couldn't even let him hug me today. He'll figure it out eventually. Then he'll look at me and see a lovelorn freak! We'll never be friends again."  
  
"Mom." Rory crouched down beside her. "What about all that advice that you've been giving me of late?"  
  
"Always lean forward when you pee after giving birth?" Lorelai peeked between her hands.  
  
"Yes you are a infinite source of wisdom. But that was not what I was referring to."  
  
"Well it wasn't me then." Lorelai looked away.  
  
"I told Art. He's not taking me very seriously. In fact, he's still coming to the Christmas Party tonight. You know, just in case I change my mind. Nevertheless, he will be leaving for the airport straight after."  
  
"I'm happy for you."  
  
Rory smiled back.  
  
"Uh, I don't mean to be an insensitive mother, but what's this got to do with my advice?"  
  
"You knew I didn't love him. You knew how it was with Jess and me. You knew all along. It was you who helped me to realize."  
  
"Well it was pretty obvious hon." Lorelai and Rory finally got up off the ground. "It was beyond me why you broke up with him in the first place."  
  
"Mom!" Rory placed her hands on Lorelai's shoulders. "I am scared witless that I have ruined things with Jess. I will not let that happen to you! So, I am now giving you your own advice."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"I'm saying, you're going to tell Luke how you feel before you ruin everything like I did!"  
  
"It'll ruin everything if I do tell him. He doesn't like me that way!"  
  
"Believe me when I say he's smitten. He is so smitten that he has broken up with every woman he has ever dated. He hates every guy you've ever been with. He nearly ripped Ryan's head off, remember?"  
  
"What if he isn't? What if it just makes him angry? I'll never see him again."  
  
"You have to try! That's what you told me."  
  
"I said that? I really do need help."  
  
"Come on, I'll help you with the war paint."  
  
  
  
  
  
When they reached the hall, the party was already in full swing. People were lining up for plates of food whilst others were dancing, drinking and chattering loudly over the cheesy Christmas music.  
  
"I see that I have not arrived too soon. I think I'll go have a nice little chat with the DJ." Lane hurried off with the violin still in her hand.  
  
"Why did she bring that thing?" Lorelai asked as she and Rory removed their coats.  
  
"She was hoping to get in some practice time. She said she's recording that tune straight after Christmas." Rory replied.  
  
"Hey kittens." Sookie came up to them with a huge grin on her face.  
  
"Sookie! You're positively reeking of Christmas joy this evening."  
  
"Why thank you! Actually I feel like a freshly baked cherry tartlet! Ooooh! You have to come try the soup I made. I'm thinking of serving it at the Inn." She led Lorelai and Rory towards the food table. Ignoring the line, Sookie pushed ahead and poured out two mugs of soup.  
  
"Excuse me. There is a line going here." A man near the front informed Sookie.  
  
"Yes but I get special privileges. I'm the cook." She gave the man an irritatingly smarmy smile as she handed the mugs to Lorelai and Rory.  
  
"I bet they aren't cooks." He pointed at the two guilty girls.  
  
"Yes they are! They're my assistants." Sookie lied.  
  
"Well then why aren't they serving us?" The man replied arrogantly. Sookie shrugged and looked to Lorelai for help.  
  
"Fine I'll serve, but I'm spitting in everyone's food." Lorelai promptly announced to the people in the line. Several of them groaned.  
  
"You're not real cooks!" The man snarled.  
  
"You, my friend, obviously don't know any. We cooks have really bad tempers so you had better watch your insults." Lorelai threatened.  
  
"I'd take that threat seriously if I were you. I've taught them well." Sookie gave them all the evil eye.  
  
"Mom! Sookie! Put the ladle down and leave them alone. Let's go annoy Taylor! Come on, it's Christmas!" Rory pulled them away. She was getting embarrassed.  
  
"Ugh! Now my soup is cold. Now that man really has to pay." Lorelai said when they were out of earshot.  
  
"I told Taylor to serve it in polystyrene cups, not those stupid colored plastic things."  
  
"And I told you Sookie, that they were a waste of money and resources." Taylor said as he appeared beside Lorelai.  
  
"All right! Taylor's party goes off with a bang! It's a 'polystyrene versus plastic' debate! This is just so exciting. Rory, you can be the judge and I'll be the timekeeper. Rory?" Lorelai glanced over at her distracted daughter.  
  
She noticed that Rory was staring at the entrance. Amongst many new arrivals, Lorelai could see Art.  
  
"Rory, what's up?" She asked. Rory ran and hid behind Sookie.  
  
"Hide me. I'm begging you!" She clutched at Sookie's sleeve.  
  
"Ok. Um here jump into this cheap plastic cup." Sookie held out the empty green mug.  
  
"Those were anything but cheap Sookie. I just said they were cheaper." Taylor frowned. Rory groaned.  
  
"Honey, it's just a couple of hours and then he's gone." Lorelai said quietly. Taylor glanced interestedly past Lorelai.  
  
"I don't think that's who she's hiding from."  
  
"Huh?" Before she could turn, Lorelai felt two large hands cover her eyes.  
  
"Guess who." A masculine voice whispered mockingly into her left ear. A wave of happiness overpowered Lorelai. For a moment she forgot that she was supposed to be keeping an eye out for Luke.  
  
"Santa! I just knew you were real. I should have never believed the horrible lies my parents told me!" She called out.  
  
Jess let go and Lorelai spun around to give him a welcome embrace.  
  
"I am so mad with you I could hit you!" Lorelai said when they broke apart.  
  
"And it shows." Jess said sarcastically. Lorelai looked around for Rory, but she had disappeared.  
  
"She took off when I covered your eyes." Jess said with a sad smile.  
  
"Oh Jess it's not you she's afraid of! I promise. You just have really really bad timing." Lorelai hoped that Rory had found Arthur a good hiding place.  
  
"I prefer to differ on that account." Taylor sniffed. Lorelai exchanged looks with Sookie.  
  
"You know what Taylor, why don't we go serve the rest of the food after all? It'll make the line move faster so that more people will still have hot soup." Sookie suggested.  
  
"Yes, I think that's a very good idea. Don't think that you've escaped me young man. I want to talk to you later."  
  
"About what Taylor?" Jess asked in a tired voice.  
  
"Why, about Luke's sign of course. Putting it back up will merely confuse the tourists again."  
  
"Yes Sir." Jess looked bored. Taylor did not look satisfied with this comment, but followed Sookie nevertheless.  
  
"So, you decided to brave Luke's wrath and came back!" Said Lorelai. "And believe when I say he will kill you."  
  
"No he won't. I just came here to do one thing, then I'll be gone again." Jess scanned the room. In the corner of his eye, he saw Rory push a confused Art out the side door.  
  
"Jess no!" Lorelai tried to hold him back. "Not yet."  
  
"I came here with one purpose Lorelai. To put my initials on that creep's face."  
  
"But you don't understand. Art is-"  
  
Jess turned back around. There was the pain again. Lorelai flinched and let him go.  
  
"I know they're getting married. I know she hates me but that son of a-"  
  
"Jess! Would you stop and listen to me!" Lorelai yelled.  
  
"Just let me go. You have to trust me." Jess roughly pulled away and forced his way towards the side door.  
  
"Nobody likes a jealous ex!" Lorelai called out helplessly. She took a hefty swig of the cold soup in her hand. This was going to be a disaster.  
  
When Jess stepped outside, he found Rory arguing with Arthur out on the lawn. For a moment he paused, confused. He began to wish he had stopped to listen to Lorelai.  
  
But Lorelai didn't know what he knew.  
  
Jess hurried forward with a clear purpose. Rory's back was turned to the door, so she didn't see him stride across the lawn towards them.  
  
Arthur saw him and panicked. The dark man closing in on him had a murderous gleam in his eyes.  
  
Rory turned when it was too late. Jess swung hard and cuffed Arthur neatly on the corner of his chin. Rory covered her face as Arthur fell crashing into the tree behind him.  
  
"Oh-God!" Jess bit into his lip as he cradled his sore hand. Rory knelt down to make sure that Arthur was conscious.  
  
"He'll be all right. I didn't hear the signature crack." Jess said icily.  
  
"Who do you think you are, Rambo?" Rory cried in a high-pitched voice as she helped Arthur to his feet.  
  
"This has nothing to do with you Rory." Jess said, his face going a little red.  
  
"The hell it doesn't Jess!"  
  
"Jess huh? So this is the guy you're leaving me for?" Arthur let go of Rory and stood unsteadily on his own.  
  
Rory stiffened. This was not how she had planned to tell Jess.  
  
"You're leaving him?" Jess repeated, not believing his own ears. Rory gave Arthur a frigid look before staring down at the ground. She folded her arms tightly across her chest.  
  
"Rory? Why didn't you tell me?" He asked gently.  
  
Rory shrugged.  
  
"Wow he's some guy Rory! A jealous creep who beats people up." Arthur commented nastily.  
  
"Shut up before I tell her your dirty little secret!" Jess fired back. A look of confusion crossed Arthur's face.  
  
"Secret? I don't like secrets." Rory looked back and forth between the two men. Both seemed reluctant to speak up.  
  
"It's nothing Rory. Just forget about it ok?" Jess said hastily. There was no point in telling her anything now that Arthur was out of the picture.  
  
"Tell me what this is about or I'll never speak to either of you again!" She said shakily.  
  
"He's lying. Don't let him bother you Rory." Arthur beseeched.  
  
"One more line like that and I'll make your life a living hell." Jess growled. Arthur glared at him.  
  
"In case you two have forgotten, my journalist instincts have been well cultivated over the past couple of years. So talk or I'm going back to the party alone!"  
  
No one spoke.  
  
"Fine." She started back towards the hall but Jess stopped her by grabbing her arm. As she stumbled back, Rory resisted the urge to fall against his body.  
  
"Rory, I don't want to hurt you." He said softly, completely disarmed by that look of longing on her face.  
  
"So are you going to tell me? Or are you just going to keep it a secret? Like Luke's sign?" She challenged, and ripped her arm from his grasp.  
  
"Oh this is just peachy. How come you get to be mad at me?" Jess fumed. This girl was driving him nuts.  
  
"Because you left." She said simply.  
  
"You wanted me to leave!"  
  
"I was just angry. I was stupid, OK?"  
  
"Well so nice of you to let me know. I left thinking that you would be happy about it!"  
  
"Well you were wrong, weren't you?"  
  
"What was I supposed to think?" He asked her in frustration. "Don't forget you were the one that got engaged to some two-timing jerk!"  
  
"Two-timing?" Rory's mouth fell open.  
  
Oops.  
  
Jess felt like ramming himself into a door.  
  
At least he derived satisfaction from watching Arthur's face going a deep purple.  
  
"Two timing, huh?" She said.  
  
"Rory, I can explain." Art stepped forward. Rory held out her hand to stop him.  
  
"No! I want Jess to explain."  
  
"Huh?" Both men said at the same time.  
  
"How did you know he had cheated on me? You didn't by any chance have something to do with it did you?" Rory accused.  
  
"Pardon?" Jess blinked. This was hardly what he had expected her to say.  
  
"You heard me. Was this all part of your twisted plan to get me back?"  
  
Jess counted to ten before he replied. Controlling his rage was suddenly becoming rather difficult.  
  
"I have many flaws Rory. I'm the first to admit it. But do you really think I was capable of organizing for someone to sleep with him?"  
  
"Rory, this isn't making sense. Just let me explain, ok?" Arthur intercepted.  
  
"Arthur leave! I told you we were over, so I fail to understand why you are still here!"  
  
Arthur frowned.  
  
"Go on. You'll miss your plane." Rory didn't care how rude she sounded. She was blinded by hurt and love.  
  
Art wanted her back badly, but he knew when to back off.  
  
"Goodbye Rory. Please believe me when I say that she meant nothing to me. I'll always be there for you if you need someone to talk to." Arthur said. When Rory didn't reply, he heaved a loud sigh and made his way dejectedly back to the hall.  
  
There was an awkward silence.  
  
"Rory?" Jess spoke up. Rory looked up and glared at him.  
  
"I only called Caitlin to find out if Security had let him go yet. That was all I was going to do. But then she told me about the little fling she had had with him. Believe me, it was a big a shock to me as it was to you."  
  
She said nothing.  
  
"I promise you, I had nothing to do with it." He said.  
  
"You expect me to believe that? When you're the one that got him arrested in the first place?" She said.  
  
Jess couldn't think of anything to say that would make her believe him. Any hope he had of patching things up with her was fast slipping away.  
  
"Rory, just take my word for it. Is that so hard?" He pleaded.  
  
"Why did you come back?" She asked, a little more quietly.  
  
"I wasn't about to let him get away with it." He replied. "I was just going to kill him, not literally of course, and then I was leaving straight away. An in and out job. I promise I wasn't going to bother you at all."  
  
Rory wanted to laugh at this. Instead, she gathered up her courage and looked directly into his eyes.  
  
"I-I believe you." She finally said. Tears began to trail down her cheeks.  
  
At that moment, Jess was so happy that he would have willingly skipped and held hands with Luke. Instead, he accepted Rory's hand and they slowly walked back together towards the hall.  
  
"Once Luke knows you're here, you're gonna be in big trouble." She rubbed her nose in order to hide the smile that was aching to surface.  
  
"So I've been told." Jess smiled encouragingly.  
  
"You should have seen his face when he saw his Dad's sign. He nearly cried."  
  
"I hate it when people cry." Jess teased, brushing the back of his hand against her face.  
  
"I'm not crying. I'm having a nervous breakdown." Rory defended, wiping at her eyes.  
  
"You should have them more often. You have no idea how swollen your lips go."  
  
"They do not!" Rory raised a hand to them doubtfully. Jess reached out and pulled her fingers away. He then stepped up to her so that his mouth was only an inch away from hers.  
  
"Yes, they do, and they're staying that way if I can help it." He said firmly.  
  
"I love you. You know that, don't you?" She said suddenly.  
  
Jess didn't budge, though he felt something lurch in his chest.  
  
"Jess?" She asked, confused.  
  
"Um, I just figured that if I stay perfectly still-. It's just - you're not going to leave me again are you?"  
  
"Jess. I'm not going anywhere!" She said.  
  
"I'm sorry could you repeat that?"  
  
Rory jerked his head downwards with her arms.  
  
"I am not going to run!" She said.  
  
"Could-could you just say it one more time? I'm getting a little deaf in the left ear." He asked. Rory pulled his mouth to hers and moistened his closed lips with her tongue. A deep chuckle escaped his throat as the kiss deepened.  
  
When they pulled apart, Jess's hands had encircled her waist. Rory leaned against him and enjoyed the familiar sensation of having his cheek brushing against her skin. It was a little less clean-shaven than it used to be all those years ago, but she didn't mind.  
  
As they held each other, Rory cast a glance up at the hall. She could see a face staring at them through one of the windows.  
  
  
  
  
  
Lorelai twisted back around in her chair to find Sookie staring at her suspiciously.  
  
"Oh hi Sookie. I was just um, looking outside, at the um, snow."  
  
"And you were also just um, having a little peep at um, Rory?" Sookie copied Lorelai's stuttering.  
  
"No need to be smart."  
  
"We have enough peeping Toms in this town without you being added to the list." Sookie scolded.  
  
"Nothing you can say will make me sad! Rory got him back! I'm so happy!" Lorelai bounced up and down in her chair in excitement.  
  
"What!" Sookie pushed Lorelai aside and peered out the window. "Wow! Who is that? The fiancé or Jess?"  
  
"Jess of course! What sort of mental patient would want prosy boy as a son in law?"  
  
"Wow!" Sookie giggled and waved. "They're really going at it now. You don't think they'll go all the way out there do you?"  
  
"Sookie! Leave them alone!" Lorelai pulled her friend away from the window. "You can watch an adult movie when you get home."  
  
"We need to get a photo of them!" Sookie announced, looking around for the Santa photographer that Taylor had arranged.  
  
"Sookie I will not have you embarrass my daughter on Christmas Eve!"  
  
"Ooooh but-"  
  
"Peeping Tom! Peeping Tom!"  
  
"Oh okay, but you're such a spoil sport! I know! I'll go find your parents and get them to come say hi to you. That'll be just as fun!"  
  
"You're mean. But I don't believe you. Why would my parents be here?"  
  
"I don't know. All I know is that I served them a bowl of soup along with everyone else."  
  
"Wow. Did my Mom like the soup?"  
  
"I don't know. I haven't seen her since. Ooooh! Wait right here. I'll be right back."  
  
Sookie presently returned holding an open folder with a Christmas card sitting on top of it.  
  
"Could you sign this hon? It's a 'thank-you' card for Taylor."  
  
Lorelai signed and sat back into the chair.  
  
"I know, how about I go find us some dance partners!" She said brightly as she closed up the folder.  
  
"Fine!" Lorelai folded her arms. "I'm staying right here to protect Rory from being spied on."  
  
Sookie bustled off. Lorelai quietly smiled to herself and quickly took another peek through the window.  
  
"What are you looking at?" Luke's voice startled her from behind. Lorelai jumped and pulled the curtain back across the window. She twisted around and faced him with an incredibly guilty smile.  
  
"Oh um. Nothing." She crossed her legs and clasped her hands together in her lap.  
  
"Uh huh." He reached over her and tried to open the curtain.  
  
"Nooooo!" Lorelai reached up and wrested his arm away.  
  
"You are scary. You know that?" He said when he had given up.  
  
"So are you!"  
  
"Yeah, you made me aware of that yesterday." He stared down at the drink in his hand.  
  
"Oh, that. Luke I was just out of it. I'm back to normal now. So you're no longer scary."  
  
"Oh. Good. I think."  
  
"Luke! I didn't see you come in!" Sookie came up to them with Ryan and Taylor in tow.  
  
"You looked a little busy serving soup."  
  
"Why didn't you get any?"  
  
"Soup goes cold in plastic cups."  
  
Lorelai and Sookie smirked. Taylor gave them a glare, so Lorelai decided to quickly change the subject.  
  
"Hey Ryan, how's Karen." She asked.  
  
"Why don't you ask her? She's over there dancing with Kirk."  
  
"Oh well, he's a good partner to set her up with. I mean, at least you know she won't make a play for him or anything."  
  
Luke was beginning to think that he might just enjoy the party after all.  
  
"Yeah. You're a huge comfort Lorelai. Thanks." Ryan said sarcastically. "Sookie, I've changed my mind. I'm dancing with you instead."  
  
"Oh. Okay! See you two on the floor!" Sookie giggled as she was led away.  
  
"So I guess I'm dancing with you Taylor?" Lorelai smiled at the older man.  
  
Luke choked on his drink.  
  
"Do not look at me like that Luke. At least I can dance, which is more than what you can say for yourself." Said Taylor.  
  
"I won't argue Taylor. You're a better dancer than me." Luke was trying very hard not to smile.  
  
"Even Jess is better than you. Speaking of which, where is he? I was planning to have a little discussion regarding that sign!"  
  
Lorelai panicked. She didn't want Luke knowing that Jess was back. She began to give Taylor subtle warning signals.  
  
"What about the sign Taylor?" Luke asked in a forbidding tone. He knew exactly what Taylor had to say about it, but he wasn't about to make it easy. That sign was going back up whether people liked it or not.  
  
"I've forgotten what I was going to say. Lorelai keeps slitting her throat with her finger." Taylor glanced distractedly from one to the other.  
  
Lorelai groaned.  
  
"Where is Jess, Lorelai?" Taylor continued. "He was only here a little while ago."  
  
"Oh for the love of Pete!" Lorelai buried her face in her hands. Luke took one look at Lorelai and swung around to the window.  
  
"There's no one out there Lorelai. You can stop pulling your hair out." Luke finally said.  
  
"Huh?" She looked out of the window. "Oh yeah, yeah I knew that."  
  
"So Jess is back is he? Has he talked to Rory yet?" Luke asked.  
  
Lorelai nodded, staring down at her lap.  
  
"Is everything ok then?" He reached out and took her hand.  
  
Lorelai looked up at Luke's face and realized that he was genuinely concerned.  
  
Of course he was being genuine. He loved those kids just as much as she did.  
  
"Yeah. Everything's good." She said timidly.  
  
"Are you sure you're ok? You've been acting weirder than usual these past couple of days." Luke asked, still holding her.  
  
Maybe this was the time to tell him.  
  
"I don't mean to be rude Lorelai, but are we going to dance or not?" Taylor intervened.  
  
Lorelai quickly broke away from Luke's stare and stood up. Luke frowned. Lorelai had managed to become a complete mystery to him overnight.  
  
"Of course Taylor! We'll show Luke how real people dance!" She took Taylor's outstretched hand.  
  
"I don't mean to boast, but I think we'll - how do you say it?" Taylor asked.  
  
"Kick some dance-floor ass?" Lorelai supplied.  
  
"Yes." Taylor said as they walked to the center of the floor.  
  
When Taylor starting pulling some of his new moves, Luke's frown quickly disappeared. It was evident that Miss Patti had had an interesting pupil to work with for the past month.  
  
The people of Stars Hollow stood back and cheered the odd couple on.  
  
In between arm swings, Lorelai managed to wave at Luke.  
  
He smiled back.  
  
  
  
  
  
A little later that evening, Jess and Rory appeared back at the hall. Lorelai and Sookie giggled at how giddy the couple looked.  
  
Seeing them, Jess flashed a grin in their direction. Lorelai gave him a knowing wink in return.  
  
"Jess. I'm only going to ask this once, so I want a straight answer." Rory said while staring at her mother.  
  
"Uh. Ok. What?" He looked down at Rory.  
  
"Did you ever in the course of history, have a crush on my Mom? The truth now!"  
  
"Funny you should mention that."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"It has something to do with Luke's missing sign."  
  
"Explain now!"  
  
"Hey, let's not! How about we go bug the DJ for a song."  
  
Before Rory could press him further, the music was turned down and Taylor stood up on a chair.  
  
"Ladies, Gentlemen and the future generation of Stars Hollow! I hope you're all enjoying yourselves!"  
  
Everyone clapped, whistled and cheered. Taylor had suddenly become very popular after his little dance debut.  
  
"Santa will be arriving in a few minutes with presents for all the GOOD citizens of our little town-"  
  
"Boooooo!" Lorelai called out. Taylor glared at her.  
  
"-And bad citizens alike!" He gave both Luke and Lorelai a pointed look.  
  
"Har har har. Just remember Taylor. Santa wouldn't be coming at all if it wasn't for me!" Luke folded his arms.  
  
"Do you know Santa?" A little boy near Luke asked him with wide eyes.  
  
"Yeah, so you'd better stop stealing straws from my diner!" He scowled. The boy gasped and ran away in fright.  
  
"Listen boys and girls. I think that's him now!" Taylor announced in a horribly unimaginative voice.  
  
"Ho ho ho!" Santa said pathetically as he came in by the side door. The kids cheered and crowded around him.  
  
"Who is that? Whoever he is, it is a big improvement on Kirk's performance last year." Sookie whispered in Luke's ear.  
  
"They made innocent children sit on Kirk's knee?"  
  
"I know. It was a choice made in desperation, I assure you. So who is it this year?" Said Sookie.  
  
"It's Jeromy. My father's friend. He's helping me out with the renovations on that excuse for a house that you and Lorelai own."  
  
"Oh yeah, I remember him! We should make him a permanent member of Stars Hollow. That way he can do Santa every year."  
  
"I'm sure he'd be only too flattered Sookie." Luke rolled his eyes.  
  
"Here Luke could you sign this? It's a card for Taylor." Sookie held out the same folder from before.  
  
"How come he gets a card?"  
  
"He didn't give himself a present. So we, um, decided to give him a card."  
  
"Sookie this is pretty thin for a card."  
  
"Hence the folder underneath for your convenience."  
  
Luke shrugged and presently signed it with the pen Sookie provided. Even he was impressed with the effort Taylor had put into the party.  
  
With the help and hints received from the populace of Stars Hollow, the presents had turned out to be quite ingenious. Sookie got a new apron because she had destroyed her old one. Kirk acquired a new camera that fitted into his pocket so that his mother wouldn't see it. Ryan got an alarm clock so that he would stop getting to work late (An idea that had come from Lorelai) and Michel got a rather large calorie counter book.  
  
"And now, we have a special treat for the people of Stars Hollow. If you would all kindly follow me outside. I promise you will not need your coats." Taylor leapt down from the chair and made his way out of the front door.  
  
"And it still isn't snowing!" Lorelai grumbled as Taylor led them down the road. Everyone huddled closer together in order to keep warm.  
  
When they reached their destination, they barely recognized it.  
  
It was the park. The snow had been cleared away to make room for enough seats for everyone. Taylor had fifteen outdoor alcohol-fueled heaters going. White, red and gold ribbons with flowers and holly were strung from chair to chair. At the front was the gazebo, adorned with so many lanterns and candles that it stood alone like a centerpiece in a table.  
  
Kirk pulled out his camera and took a photo.  
  
"Would everyone kindly take a seat!" Taylor said as he made his way down towards the gazebo. In the comfort of the heat, people began to relax and talk again. It was a long time before everyone had finally settled down.  
  
"Wow! Taylor has surpassed himself this evening." Lorelai said truthfully as she and Sookie sat down. She could see Rory sitting with Jess a few rows down.  
  
As if sensing Lorelai's stare, Rory turned around and smiled. It was the happiest smile that Lorelai had ever seen.  
  
"Awwww. I don't care what you say. We have to get a photo of those two lovebugs!" Sookie said as Rory turned back around and buried her head in Jess's shoulder. Jess reached out and put his arm around her.  
  
"I have a feeling that there'll be plenty of time for that." Lorelai said emotionally. Sookie gave her strangely silent friend a hug and then turned her attention to the front. Taylor was trying to get the microphone to work on the makeshift podium.  
  
"What is he doing to that piece of equipment?" Sookie's brows were arched.  
  
"I don't think he even knows." Lorelai replied.  
  
"Testing, er, testing. Luke er, could you give me hand with this microphone?" Taylor awkwardly asked. The microphone kept doing strange things to his voice.  
  
"You just turn it on Taylor!" Luke called out without budging from his seat.  
  
Taylor played with the switch until an awful ear damaging sound began to escape from the speaker. Lorelai, Sookie and several others cringed and covered their ears.  
  
"Well it's not working!" Taylor barked out.  
  
"Oh for God's sake!" Luke jumped up off his seat, hurried down to the gazebo and fiddled with the tuner. He gave Taylor the thumbs up after he gave the microphone a tap.  
  
"Thank you. Luke Danes ladies and gentlemen!"  
  
Everyone clapped and cheered.  
  
"You're an idiot Taylor." Luke said, jumping off the edge of the gazebo and standing aside.  
  
"Now this surprise is for everyone, but in particular for one of our most cherished citizens. Amazingly, she also happens to be one of the worst citizens in town. Still, I must admit that without her, there would be no mayhem or chaos to control."  
  
"No point to your life." Luke interrupted rudely.  
  
"No reason for your existence." Patti called out.  
  
"Well, I personally wouldn't go that far." Taylor said proudly.  
  
"I would." Luke grumbled.  
  
"Lorelai Gilmore, would you kindly step forward to claim your present."  
  
"There's two of us. Which one?" Lorelai called out without getting up.  
  
"There is only one Lorelai Gilmore who could be in the running for Stars Hollow's worst citizen."  
  
"Hey don't insult Rory! Sure she has her faults but she's getting exorcised next week. I swear!" Said Lorelai.  
  
"Just get down here and claim your present Lorelai. A great many of us went to a lot of trouble for you." Said Taylor.  
  
"Ok now I'm suspicious."  
  
"Lorelai, stop embarrassing yourself and go get your present." Emily hissed loudly from a few rows behind. Richard looked strangely uncomfortable.  
  
"Well ok. But if I get rotten fruit thrown at me, I'm leaving town! Then you'll have to find someone else to pick on." Lorelai uneasily made her way down the front and climbed up the stairs to where Taylor was standing. He handed her a small rectangular box.  
  
"Would you mind opening it up here Lorelai?"  
  
She shrugged and pulled the lid off. Inside was a rolled up piece of paper tied up in a ribbon.  
  
"Taylor! You wrote me a poem! You shouldn't have" Lorelai teased as she slid the ribbon off and unrolled it.  
  
Reading it, Lorelai realized it was definitely not a poem.  
  
"Taylor this isn't funny." She said through clenched teeth.  
  
"It's not a joke."  
  
"You forged my signature on a marriage license."  
  
"That is no forgery Lorelai. Sookie got those from you and Luke this very evening, under the pretense that it was my Christmas card."  
  
Lorelai began to feel a little dizzy.  
  
"You did WHAT?" Luke hurried at an alarming pace towards them. He roughly snatched the paper from Lorelai's shaking hand and read through it.  
  
"But it was a card! I saw it!" Said Lorelai. She went over to the microphone. "Sookie? Tell me I'm not insane. Tell me I just signed a Christmas card?"  
  
Sookie guiltily bent her head and played with her fingers. Everyone waited for an answer.  
  
"Sookie?" Lorelai pleaded. The microphone amplified her shaky voice.  
  
"Oh hon you did sign a card! Of course you're not crazy!"  
  
Lorelai heaved a sigh of relief.  
  
"It just had some carbon paper underneath it." Sookie added.  
  
Jess cracked up laughing.  
  
Luke smothered his face with his hand. He tried to tell himself that this was not happening.  
  
"Carbon paper. Har har. I guess the joke's on us, traitors!" Lorelai stared down at the paper in Luke's hand. There it was in writing. Proof that she loved him and she still didn't have the guts to tell him.  
  
"And whose marvelous idea was this?" Luke demanded, casting a threatening glare around him.  
  
No one spoke up, looked up or coughed.  
  
Taylor was about to talk into the microphone again when Lorelai suddenly wrestled it from him and turned it off.  
  
"I think you've done about enough tonight buster!" She said. Luke stepped forward to give the townspeople a well-deserved rant.  
  
"When are you people going to get it into your thick heads?" He began. "Lorelai and I are friends! Nothing more! Now why don't you leave her-us alone? I just - you people are INSANE!"  
  
"For goodness sake Lorelai, say something!" Emily called out.  
  
"Uh, smile, you're on candid camera?" Lorelai suggested.  
  
"You know what? I don't about the rest of you out there but I'm fed up!" Said Taylor.  
  
"You're fed up!" Luke shot at him.  
  
"Luke, just tell her." Babette pleaded. "Help me Morey."  
  
Red faced, Morey slunk low into his chair.  
  
"Come on honey. We went to a lot of trouble for you. Just say the magic words." Sookie cried out encouragingly while waving an imaginary fairy wand.  
  
Luke wanted to believe what they were saying was true, but one look at Lorelai's petrified face was enough to snap him out of it.  
  
"Look, there's no denying that this town went to a lot of trouble for us tonight. But we just don't see each other that way? Right Lorelai?"  
  
"Er, right." She wondered if God was going to smite her for all this lying.  
  
"There, subject closed."  
  
Rory groaned.  
  
"Fine" Taylor said, leaning against the podium. "If this town has been wrong about you two all this time, then just tear up the license and we'll all go back to the hall and forget it ever happened."  
  
"Yeah? What's the catch Taylor?" Luke asked.  
  
"No catch. Just tear it up."  
  
"Fine, Lorelai, here." Luke thrust the certificate into Lorelai's hands. There was no way he was going to destroy it.  
  
"Huh? Oh, right. Destroy it." Lorelai said. She stared down at the certificate and then looked into Luke's eyes. His face was annoyingly difficult to read.  
  
"Cause we're friends right?" She stalled. Luke made no movement to indicate otherwise. She turned and desperately sought out Rory's face.  
  
Her darling supportive daughter had her face covered with her hands. How comforting. She glanced at Jess.  
  
"Tell him." He mouthed. Lorelai turned back to face Luke and Taylor.  
  
She was just so scared.  
  
Lorelai looked down at the paper and began to tear it in half.  
  
Even those who didn't know Luke could see how badly it hurt him. His fists were clenched tightly in his pockets and his head was turned away from her as if she were about to shoot him in the back.  
  
He couldn't believe she was tearing it up. He should have known - didn't she know how much he loved her?  
  
He would never forgive her for this. Never.  
  
"Luke?" Lorelai said brokenly when the unendurable tearing sound had ended.  
  
"What?" He said bitterly without looking at her.  
  
"I'm so sorry."  
  
Luke was silent.  
  
"But I can't do it."  
  
Confused, Luke turned around to look at her. Lorelai showed him the half torn certificate.  
  
"Our signatures down the bottom just looked so happy together." She smiled in spite of the strong urge she had to cry.  
  
Slowly, Luke took the crumpled paper from her hands.  
  
"Yeah. They, uh, do look kind of happy don't they?" He finally said, looking up at her. The hate was fast disappearing.  
  
"So, um, how do you feel about getting married?"  
  
"Wow. This is-this is kind of fast, isn't it?" Luke tugged at his cap.  
  
"Yeah." Lorelai said nervously.  
  
"Too fast?" He searched her blue eyes.  
  
Lorelai furiously shook her head.  
  
Conscious of the hundreds of eyes that were peering at them, Luke was only brave enough to reach out and take her hand.  
  
"I love you." She whispered.  
  
It was so quiet that he almost missed it.  
  
Lorelai felt his hand quiver.  
  
"You do?" He asked.  
  
"Is that ok with you?"  
  
"Yeah. Sure. That's ok. Just um, hang on a sec."  
  
Dejected by his reaction, Lorelai stared down at the floor. Luke walked over to Taylor and exchanged a few quiet words before he rejoined her.  
  
"Come on." Luke said gruffly and led a bewildered Lorelai down the stairs. Taylor turned the microphone back on.  
  
"Ladies and Gentlemen. We will be having a wedding after all. Walter you'd better get down here."  
  
Sighs of relief were followed by a loud applause.  
  
"You can look now." Jess whispered into Rory's ear.  
  
As friends and family began to approach them, Lorelai touched Luke's arm. He turned around gave her a shy smile.  
  
"So I guess this means you love me too right?" She said, regaining some of her confidence.  
  
Luke took her chin in one hand and kissed her softly.  
  
"Dibbs on Maid of Honor!" Sookie shrieked as she bounced over to them. Reluctantly, they released each other.  
  
"I'm not talking to you right now." Lorelai frowned at Sookie.  
  
"Don't be mad. You just needed a little nudge." Sookie grinned.  
  
"Try pushing me off a cliff." She looked around for Luke but she couldn't see him. She did however see her parents.  
  
Emily gave Lorelai a brief hug before stepping back.  
  
"I don't suppose we could postpone the wedding Lorelai? Just so that we can make things a little nicer?" Emily asked as she fiddled with Lorelai's hair. Richard gave his daughter a little smile.  
  
"Arrrgh! Don't say that! You know she'll never have the guts to go through with it again!" Sookie was tempted to hit Emily.  
  
"Don't worry Mom, I can always get divorced and marry some rich guy." Lorelai cheerfully announced.  
  
"Very funny." Emily replied.  
  
"Ahem. Let's get on with it shall we?" Walter tapped at the sermon book in his hand.  
  
Everyone quieted down and took their places.  
  
"So uh, which side do I stand?" Luke asked the judge as he rejoined Lorelai.  
  
"Groom on that side." Walter replied nonchalantly. Luke and Lorelai swapped sides.  
  
"Get that cap off Luke. Oh for heavens sake!" Emily ripped the cap off Luke's head. "Does someone have something for him to wear besides that flannel ensemble?"  
  
Luke was beginning to get nervous. Lorelai reached out and squeezed his hand.  
  
"Here." Jess unexpectedly appeared from nowhere. He pulled his jacket off and handed it over to Luke.  
  
"Er, thanks."  
  
"Don't mention it."  
  
"Wait! Don't get married without me!" Rory hurried over to her mother and gave her a kiss.  
  
"Wouldn't dream of it." Said Lorelai.  
  
  
  
  
  
Five minutes later, Luke found himself in the awkward position of having to kiss his wife for the first time.  
  
Lorelai reached out for the flannel that was hiding under the jacket and pulled him closer so that his mouth could meet hers.  
  
Passion ensued, causing Emily to roll her eyes. She would have to give her daughter a lecture on appropriate displays of affection later.  
  
Not wanting to let go of him or that moment, Lorelai leaned into Luke and wrapped her arms around his shoulders.  
  
"Mom!" Rory's voice sounded excited.  
  
"What sweetie?" Lorelai said pleasantly.  
  
"It's snowing!"  
  
"Hmmm that's nice." 


	6. Jess's Crush on Lorelai

Final Chapter - Yay!  
  
Title: Christmas Mayhem  
  
Author: MassCoffee  
  
Feedback: My first. I need criticism.  
  
Summary: My take on the future FINAL episode of the GG. Many things have changed, so be afraid, be very afraid. Get some popcorn and coffee and don't forget to widen your horizon.  
  
Rating: PG-13.  
  
Pairing: L/L and R/J  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to the television show "Gilmore Girls".  
  
Author's Note: ENJOY! I DID!  
  
  
  
  
  
"That was Mom." Rory said as she hung up the phone. She sat back on the floor next to Jess and lay her head down in his lap. "She and Luke aren't coming back till tonight."  
  
"Having too much fun without us are they?"  
  
"This is the first Christmas I've ever had without Mom."  
  
"So? Let's just open up all her presents and she won't do it again."  
  
Rory giggled.  
  
"What now?"  
  
"I just can't picture you having a crush on my Mom."  
  
"It was fleeting, I assure you."  
  
"So are you going to tell me why you hid the sign?"  
  
"Wouldn't you rather wake up Lane and open Lorelai's presents?"  
  
"Nope! I'm not doing anything until you tell me."  
  
"Fine. I had a crush on her when Luke's diner burnt down."  
  
"And?"  
  
"I saw her creep out one night to try and find the sign."  
  
"So what? She was naked?"  
  
"No! I just knew that Luke would go all mushy on her if she found it for him."  
  
"You hid the sign to stop my mother from getting together with Luke? That is the saddest thing I've ever heard."  
  
"Not as stupid as it sounds."  
  
"Have you done anything else that I should know about?"  
  
Jess bent over and gave her a kiss. He'd tell her about the world trip later. 


End file.
